It still fucks my mind, my whole time feeling / inner clock gets messed up even thought it doesn't matter how late it is for me, just the knowledge of the curre

It still fucks my mind, my whole time feeling / inner clock gets messed up even thought it doesn't matter how late it is for me, just the knowledge of the current time that doesn't fit my inner calculation is bad, gives me a unwell feeling and feeds into my depression. It makes me feel out of touch with reality if that makes sense. Honestly it was less intensive when I still had a regular job, the fixed daily structures that didn't fit my inner clock anyway kinda masked that issue.