Here is my reply to @nocontextpls whose message had some legitimate points, but was downvoted: > No one has things figured out and you should not need to fix "

Here is my reply to @nocontextpls whose message had some legitimate points, but was downvoted: > No one has things figured out and you should not need to fix "serious issues" in order to have meaningful, deep intimate relationships with others. In my experience, most women in these dating apps are as much of a trainwreck as most men are. Nobody is entitled to a relationship, you need to be able to add value to someone elses life. For better or worse, what men and women want (on average) is different in relationships, and women tend to put more emphasis on emotional strength and stability when looking for partners. Moreover, men seem more likely to either experience "Nice Guy syndrome" where they are totally dependent on Women's approval and become a pushover or needy co-dependent, or the polar opposite, where they become aggressive and dismissive of others needs and opinions. Most guys facing these issues don't even realize anything is wrong, but women can spot them from a mile away and steer clear. They assume they're being discriminated against for some unfair reason. > People need to feel connected and hopeful. Telling them to take responsibility for their "issues" is extremely alienating. > How about we help each other in fixing our "serious issues"? That is what I am doing here. I am sharing some information that can guide people having a terrible dating experience towards solving these problems, so that they will be good partners, and won't be alone the rest of their lives. I have felt the pain of being rejected and unattractive... of seeing a partner of nearly two decades excited about someone else instead of me. I had to confront these painful truths about myself and do something about it, and I want to share what I learned with other men that might experience similar pain. My sharing of a painful truth, e.g. constructive criticism is done out of empathy and love. Here are some books I would recommend to any man having trouble finding dates, or building the relationships and life they want. These mostly focus on building a good life and mental state for yourself, where becoming attractive is a byproduct. When I say no, I feel guilty by Manuel J. Smith No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover Models by Mark Manson Taking Responsibility by Nathaniel Brandon