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I think you're right. I left out some context which is that this was a conservative oil company and I was a liberal city slicker environmentalist who hates oil
by Ographer 3y ago
I think you're right. I left out some context which is that this was a conservative oil company and I was a liberal city slicker environmentalist who hates oil but was willing to put up with it for a few years for the paycheck. My boss was the tough ex-military country guy, and my co-workers were somewhere in between - nerdy engineers, but more country types.
When out for beers, he said his wife does horseback barrel racing and I said I used to do that as a kid and it's a cool sport. He just replied, "Hah, I find that hard to picture" and got some chuckles from the other guys before changing the subject, not following up to learn more. He asked what our favorite movies were and everyone received approval except when I said A Clockwork Orange, he said that was weird.
I was already masking HARD to fit in at this company. Another coworker had already outted me as an atheist as a joke at a weekly meeting. I didn't find that funny, my boss's boss in the room had previously invited me to his church as had another coworker.
I used to like this job under my old boss. Now it hurt and I didn't want to be there anymore, but the paycheck was so good I knew I'd never earn that much again in my whole life. Once I started hating my boss, I may have been "silent quitting" without realizing it. I blame him and he blames me, I don't know.
- lawlessone 3y agoNGL If that was my favorite movie I'd never tell anyone.
- Ographer 3y agoIn hindsight I should have lied but I was constantly 'masking' in this job, pretending to be someone I wasn't, I just wanted to get beers and try to get to know each other. Just because I'm different doesn't mean they had to treat me like that. The film has awful things in it but that's kind of the point, and there is a deeper meaning! I read the book in highschool and found it thought provoking. The movie is by Stanley Kubrick, has fantastic cinematography, and is on many lists of best movies of all time, so I thought it was mainstream pop culture. Sorry if I'm just over sharing now.
- timetraveller26 3y agoThat's the thing with autism, they're people that don't adhere to boring social conventions.
- neilv 3y agoIt wasn't OK for that boss to be dissing you. I'm glad you're out of that situation, but it shouldn't have happened. If no one spoke up for you in the moment, I hope they came to you afterwards with support, and/or spoke with the boss, other managers, or HR on your behalf. I suspect it wasn't so much a country-towards-city thing, though, but an individual being jerky. You'll find plenty of country people who are neighborly and welcoming, follow the best of Christian charity teachings, etc. Jerky non-inclusiveness in companies also often happens city-towards-country, one-ethnicity/caste-towards-another, one-gender-towards-another, rich-kid-careerist-towards-traditional-nerd, one-school-alumni-towards-others, etc.