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> arbitrary social constructs people value personally Can you list a few examples? I've never encountered a bonafide example before on HN that did not serve a

> arbitrary social constructs people value personally Can you list a few examples? I've never encountered a bonafide example before on HN that did not serve at least some purpose(s)/benefit some group(s)/etc..., after a careful analysis. So I'm a bit skeptical as to the claim.

user_7832 3y ago
Not the person you're replying to, but I think they're referring to situations similar to the "classic" case - an inquisitive student in class may learn it's "better" to keep quiet in presence of an unreasonable/angry teacher, than to ask questions. A neurotypical kid might quickly pick up that asking questions get you scolded. Or worse, saying the teacher is wrong gives you detention. A neurodivergent kid may fail to understand that these actions hurt the teacher's ego. (Teacher can be replaced by parent/adult). All this leads to masking.
- MichaelZuo 3y ago
  Yes but those 'social constructs' did not develop arbitrarily or randomly. In fact there is so much amateur speculation into the likely causes behind their development, the beneficiaries, etc., that such writings occupy thousands of corners spread across the internet. It's difficult to imagine any 18 year old with internet access in the last decade or two could even have avoided encountering any mention of it.
Loughla 3y ago
My least favorite example is the classic, "and what do you do?" Yes, it's a place filler nothing question for some people. BUT For others it's a very clear indicator of worth and status, which are important to them. Both groups are exceedingly put off when you answer honestly with, "my work does not define who I am." Arbitrary social construct that people take seriously. So you learn who is using it as a Dick measuring contest and which are just filling space. The first you engage aggressively with and the second you change the subject to them or their family or whatever else they are interested in.
- MichaelZuo 3y ago
  This doesn't seem arbitrary at all? Like you said, it's used as an indicator.
  - Loughla 3y ago
    I think maybe you and I have a difference in what 'arbitrary' means.
    - MichaelZuo 3y ago
      What is your belief on the meaning of 'arbitrary social constructs'?

user_7832 3y ago

Not the person you're replying to, but I think they're referring to situations similar to the "classic" case - an inquisitive student in class may learn it's "better" to keep quiet in presence of an unreasonable/angry teacher, than to ask questions. A neurotypical kid might quickly pick up that asking questions get you scolded. Or worse, saying the teacher is wrong gives you detention. A neurodivergent kid may fail to understand that these actions hurt the teacher's ego. (Teacher can be replaced by parent/adult). All this leads to masking.

MichaelZuo 3y ago
Yes but those 'social constructs' did not develop arbitrarily or randomly. In fact there is so much amateur speculation into the likely causes behind their development, the beneficiaries, etc., that such writings occupy thousands of corners spread across the internet. It's difficult to imagine any 18 year old with internet access in the last decade or two could even have avoided encountering any mention of it.

Loughla 3y ago

My least favorite example is the classic, "and what do you do?" Yes, it's a place filler nothing question for some people. BUT For others it's a very clear indicator of worth and status, which are important to them. Both groups are exceedingly put off when you answer honestly with, "my work does not define who I am." Arbitrary social construct that people take seriously. So you learn who is using it as a Dick measuring contest and which are just filling space. The first you engage aggressively with and the second you change the subject to them or their family or whatever else they are interested in.

MichaelZuo 3y ago
This doesn't seem arbitrary at all? Like you said, it's used as an indicator.
- Loughla 3y ago
  I think maybe you and I have a difference in what 'arbitrary' means.
  - MichaelZuo 3y ago
    What is your belief on the meaning of 'arbitrary social constructs'?