That's me. I have a 9 year old. When she was young I decided to stop the usual passive aggressive signals I would send out when I wanted to be alone, instead I'

That's me. I have a 9 year old. When she was young I decided to stop the usual passive aggressive signals I would send out when I wanted to be alone, instead I'm explicit and kind, I'll just say "will you please go out of my room now, I want to be alone for awhile". Later, I'll tell her "you can come an be play in my room if you want". I know it has made her feel bad sometimes, but I'm convinced it minimizes the damage. As parents, we can't avoid causing some emotional damage, but hopefully we can minimize it and make it a constructive learning experience. I hope that my explicit messages teach her that sometimes Dad needs to be alone and sometimes she has to be lonely and entertain herself. Hard lessons, but lessons that need to be learned one way or another. Who knows what the chaotic passive aggressive signals my younger self used to send would have taught her.