3 ms·

This is literally me. I'm very happy with my life - my spouse, my kids, my extended family, my small group of friends that's been together for 20+ years, and m

This is literally me. I'm very happy with my life - my spouse, my kids, my extended family, my small group of friends that's been together for 20+ years, and my career. I have very little interest in socializing / meeting new people, and would much rather spend all my free time improving my existing relationships (see above), or be by myself. I know how to socialize / meet new people, but never feel comfortable doing that.

sho_hn 3y ago
It's me as well. I mostly fit your description. I would say, however: I actually love socializing and meeting new people, it's very fun and rewarding. People are awesome! It just so happens that I need to make an effort to go out in the first place, and I need some quality "me time" to recover afterwards. Therefore, I don't do it on most days. I don't shop around for those new opportunities. I invite guests/host at home only infrequently. And it's fine. I work in a communication-heavy technical role. I'm good at moderating, mediating, coaching. I'm persuasive when I need to be, and I have a knack for adapting to the people I'm talking to. I enjoy the work. But it's definitely work, there's a significant energy expenditure involved. Like you, I prefer to maintain fewer, deeper friend relationships as a result. Not having to be in touch is how I relax and unwind. I just don't scale to keep up with a large number of social obligations. There's so much other stuff to get done! That said: I truly appreciate getting invited to things by the stubborn folks who try. I feel bad when I decline. Some time I will take you up on it, and I promise I'll have a fantastic time. My partner of 9 years is a person I can hang out with for any length of time without strain or requiring recovery time afterwards, so that works smoothly.
deleted 3y ago
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olvy0 3y ago
That's literally me as well. Also my spouse, to a much lesser degree. We're both developers. We're both not very interested in meeting new people.
GoodJokes 3y ago
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sho_hn 3y ago

It's me as well. I mostly fit your description. I would say, however: I actually love socializing and meeting new people, it's very fun and rewarding. People are awesome! It just so happens that I need to make an effort to go out in the first place, and I need some quality "me time" to recover afterwards. Therefore, I don't do it on most days. I don't shop around for those new opportunities. I invite guests/host at home only infrequently. And it's fine. I work in a communication-heavy technical role. I'm good at moderating, mediating, coaching. I'm persuasive when I need to be, and I have a knack for adapting to the people I'm talking to. I enjoy the work. But it's definitely work, there's a significant energy expenditure involved. Like you, I prefer to maintain fewer, deeper friend relationships as a result. Not having to be in touch is how I relax and unwind. I just don't scale to keep up with a large number of social obligations. There's so much other stuff to get done! That said: I truly appreciate getting invited to things by the stubborn folks who try. I feel bad when I decline. Some time I will take you up on it, and I promise I'll have a fantastic time. My partner of 9 years is a person I can hang out with for any length of time without strain or requiring recovery time afterwards, so that works smoothly.

deleted 3y ago

[deleted]

olvy0 3y ago

That's literally me as well. Also my spouse, to a much lesser degree. We're both developers. We're both not very interested in meeting new people.

GoodJokes 3y ago

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