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I learned early in my life that passing as typical was important. Learning to pass is all about learning which arbitrary social constructs people value personal
by Loughla 3y ago
I learned early in my life that passing as typical was important. Learning to pass is all about learning which arbitrary social constructs people value personally. You can learn that by paying attention to their mannerisms. You can then tailor your behaviors to that person.
It also helps to establish a reputation as a boundary pusher who will maliciously comply with stupid rules.
Higher education is a great field to work in, because everyone expects a certain amount of that sort of thing from you anyways.
Right or wrong it has kept me gainfully employed for decades. Ethics and personal identity are very funny things when you have to eat.
- MichaelZuo 3y ago> arbitrary social constructs people value personally Can you list a few examples? I've never encountered a bonafide example before on HN that did not serve at least some purpose(s)/benefit some group(s)/etc..., after a careful analysis. So I'm a bit skeptical as to the claim.
- user_7832 3y agoNot the person you're replying to, but I think they're referring to situations similar to the "classic" case - an inquisitive student in class may learn it's "better" to keep quiet in presence of an unreasonable/angry teacher, than to ask questions. A neurotypical kid might quickly pick up that asking questions get you scolded. Or worse, saying the teacher is wrong gives you detention. A neurodivergent kid may fail to understand that these actions hurt the teacher's ego. (Teacher can be replaced by parent/adult). All this leads to masking.
- MichaelZuo 3y agoYes but those 'social constructs' did not develop arbitrarily or randomly. In fact there is so much amateur speculation into the likely causes behind their development, the beneficiaries, etc., that such writings occupy thousands of corners spread across the internet. It's difficult to imagine any 18 year old with internet access in the last decade or two could even have avoided encountering any mention of it.
- Loughla 3y agoMy least favorite example is the classic, "and what do you do?" Yes, it's a place filler nothing question for some people. BUT For others it's a very clear indicator of worth and status, which are important to them. Both groups are exceedingly put off when you answer honestly with, "my work does not define who I am." Arbitrary social construct that people take seriously. So you learn who is using it as a Dick measuring contest and which are just filling space. The first you engage aggressively with and the second you change the subject to them or their family or whatever else they are interested in.
- MichaelZuo 3y agoThis doesn't seem arbitrary at all? Like you said, it's used as an indicator.
- Loughla 3y agoI think maybe you and I have a difference in what 'arbitrary' means.
- MichaelZuo 3y agoWhat is your belief on the meaning of 'arbitrary social constructs'?
- itronitron 3y ago>> It also helps to establish a reputation as a boundary pusher who will maliciously comply with stupid rules. That, and it's also good to know that every boundary has gaps, either through policy, implementation, or both. When you find a useful gap there is no point in drawing attention to it since you are just following the rules.