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I wouldn’t call it a “major intervention” because I would consider anything that was a major intervention to involve some professional guidance. Especially if s

I wouldn’t call it a “major intervention” because I would consider anything that was a major intervention to involve some professional guidance. Especially if someone is suicidal or at risk of some other form of serious self harm. However, I have applied this advice with someone I love, who was doing not too well last year. They were in a pretty bad place mental health wise, and I was really worried. I just spent a lot of time being with them, whether they wanted to talk or not, and when they did start to talk, I made sure I actually listened. They are doing a lot better this year. Can I say that it’s directly because I listened? No Is that a major intervention? No. But what it did was build a much stronger relationship with a lot more trust and I think that is pretty helpful.

s1artibartfast 3y ago
So if you are counseling someone about suicide, it isn’t serious if you aren’t a professional? I don’t get it. Is a crisis not serious unless someone has a professional assigned?
- Quinzel 3y ago
  I think a crisis is serious if someone is contemplating suicide/self-harm whether a person providing support is or is not a professional. I personally think if someone is in that much of a crisis one should however seek professional input… however… OP said “I don't want the 'seek professional help' etc” so I’ve kind of tried to work around that here. I think you’re just misunderstanding what I mean. That may be because I haven’t communicated my thoughts effectively enough, or you don’t like my suggestion at all… but yet you haven’t seem to provide a good alternative either..
  - s1artibartfast 3y ago
    I don’t think I agree with your top level suggestion if someone is in serious crisis, so I wanted to see if you had some particular experience. Your follow up rubbed me the wrong way, but perhaps you simply misspoke when you said: > wouldn’t call it a “major intervention” because I would consider anything that was a major intervention to involve some professional guidance. Maybe you meant to say you recommend professional help if things are serious, but instead you said it isn’t serious unless a professional was involved. A lot of people don’t have or want professional help, land lots of non professionals find themselves with friends and loved ones and n crisis. A lot of people finding themselves making an intervention, even if that is only to convince someone to see a professional
    - Quinzel 3y ago
      Ok, well what would you do for someone in crisis then? How would you help someone?
      - s1artibartfast 3y ago
        Im not confident enough in any proposal to make a casual recommendation. I don’t want someone else’s blood on my hands from giving flippant advice. I can say that from my experience, knowing people care about me was important, but so was getting an honest reality check. The realization that I can’t blame others or my circumstances for my misery was fundamental for pulling out of a really rough patch that lasted several years. One key learning I had was that Only I am ultimately responsible for my own happiness. Nobody owes me happiness and neither does the world. The sentiment down thread recommending someone should consider walking away from the things causing them pain before taking their lives really resonated with me, because that was another breakthrough I had. I had to lean that depression and addiction are a choice. Blaming others, circumstances, and feeling helpless is just a lazy cop out to avoid taking responsibility for my own emotions. That said, people’s issues are different. What helped me might send someone else over the edge, so I don’t want to make a recommendation. Similarly, some people might just need a friend to listen. Other times if you just listen you might miss the last chance to save a life.
        Quinzel 3y ago
        > I had to lean that depression and addiction are a choice I was actually under the impression that genetics accounted for about 40-60% of a persons risk of addiction. I’m not so sure about depression but I was under the impression that genetic and neurobiological factors were also significant in the aetiology of depression. Maybe I just need to hit my textbooks again, and read a few papers. It’s definitely not simply a matter of choice or a moral failing of the person who is experiencing these things. I’m glad for you knowing people care helped you work through your own struggles. I wonder how they showed you that they cared?
        3y ago

s1artibartfast 3y ago

So if you are counseling someone about suicide, it isn’t serious if you aren’t a professional? I don’t get it. Is a crisis not serious unless someone has a professional assigned?

Quinzel 3y ago
I think a crisis is serious if someone is contemplating suicide/self-harm whether a person providing support is or is not a professional. I personally think if someone is in that much of a crisis one should however seek professional input… however… OP said “I don't want the 'seek professional help' etc” so I’ve kind of tried to work around that here. I think you’re just misunderstanding what I mean. That may be because I haven’t communicated my thoughts effectively enough, or you don’t like my suggestion at all… but yet you haven’t seem to provide a good alternative either..
- s1artibartfast 3y ago
  I don’t think I agree with your top level suggestion if someone is in serious crisis, so I wanted to see if you had some particular experience. Your follow up rubbed me the wrong way, but perhaps you simply misspoke when you said: > wouldn’t call it a “major intervention” because I would consider anything that was a major intervention to involve some professional guidance. Maybe you meant to say you recommend professional help if things are serious, but instead you said it isn’t serious unless a professional was involved. A lot of people don’t have or want professional help, land lots of non professionals find themselves with friends and loved ones and n crisis. A lot of people finding themselves making an intervention, even if that is only to convince someone to see a professional
  - Quinzel 3y ago
    Ok, well what would you do for someone in crisis then? How would you help someone?
    - s1artibartfast 3y ago
      Im not confident enough in any proposal to make a casual recommendation. I don’t want someone else’s blood on my hands from giving flippant advice. I can say that from my experience, knowing people care about me was important, but so was getting an honest reality check. The realization that I can’t blame others or my circumstances for my misery was fundamental for pulling out of a really rough patch that lasted several years. One key learning I had was that Only I am ultimately responsible for my own happiness. Nobody owes me happiness and neither does the world. The sentiment down thread recommending someone should consider walking away from the things causing them pain before taking their lives really resonated with me, because that was another breakthrough I had. I had to lean that depression and addiction are a choice. Blaming others, circumstances, and feeling helpless is just a lazy cop out to avoid taking responsibility for my own emotions. That said, people’s issues are different. What helped me might send someone else over the edge, so I don’t want to make a recommendation. Similarly, some people might just need a friend to listen. Other times if you just listen you might miss the last chance to save a life.
      - Quinzel 3y ago
        > I had to lean that depression and addiction are a choice I was actually under the impression that genetics accounted for about 40-60% of a persons risk of addiction. I’m not so sure about depression but I was under the impression that genetic and neurobiological factors were also significant in the aetiology of depression. Maybe I just need to hit my textbooks again, and read a few papers. It’s definitely not simply a matter of choice or a moral failing of the person who is experiencing these things. I’m glad for you knowing people care helped you work through your own struggles. I wonder how they showed you that they cared?
        3y ago