> Of course, a relationship does require some effort Which is true, and true for most things. Here's my "Being There" analogy: If you aim to grow a garden, no

> Of course, a relationship does require some effort Which is true, and true for most things. Here's my "Being There" analogy: If you aim to grow a garden, not watering, tilling, weeding or caring for it at all could have mixed results. A moderate amount of effort and you have a bountiful harvest. If you're putting extensive effort, and nothing is growing, it means the conditions aren't right for what you are doing. The seeds are bad, the soil is bad, the climate may not be right. You aren't going to win any favors from the universe forcing a good outcome out of bad conditions. The effort you put in is meaningless. The sweet spot lies in a moderate amount of effort, but only contingent on cycles of positive feedback that justify that effort. Human beings have evolved to respond to those feedback cycles with dopamine precisely because it naturally encourages more effort. There are some things of course you can't rely on that paradigm (like you can't build half a semiconductor factory and expect it to produce half as many chips), but in those areas where instincts are insufficient, one shouldn't go on hunches or pithy aphorisms: there has to be scientific thinking behind the effort you put in or you're just flailing blindly against the universe.