6 ms·
Dungeons and Dragons saved my life
- pavel_lishin 3y agoI think it's a common joke in the D&D world that D&D sessions are just group therapy sessions where you sometimes get to kill a goblin.
- Loughla 3y agoD&D has helped various members of my group cope with suicidal ideation, divorce, eating disorder, social anxiety, and depression. Not saying it was the best Avenue by any means, but it was effective for the six of us! Maybe it's just the circle of friends and non-judgmental atmosphere (unless it comes to the GOD AWFUL decisions we make in game).
- pavel_lishin 3y agoI think one of the major draws of D&D is that it lets you spend time with friend and acquaintances in a fun, yet emotionally charged situation. It's a third place. I'm guessing this is also something that sports fans get out of watching games together, where the emotional highs and lows are important - but in D&D, you and your choices & actions are the source of those highs and lows, instead of watching someone else make those decisions.
- ungamedplayer 3y agoOr the god awful roles. I think my friends dice want to see him dead.
- PH95VuimJjqBqy 3y agohaha, last session our part basically gave up as the dice definitely wanted us dead.
- em-bee 3y agoroles or rolls?
- rrr_oh_man 3y agoCardassian voles
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- em-bee 3y agocircle of friends and non-judgmental atmosphere for a lot of smaller problems this is all that is needed. it is also a place to explore your personality and share it with others. someone who can play a kind and considerate D&D character can also be kind and considerate in real life. i am not even sure if one can play such positive traits if one does not have them in real life.
- keyle 3y agoThe human mind can be a jail and any projection or role play can help break free for a few hours. Many things are said to be great for the mind, even above the benefits physical activities. There is a saying amongst riders "You don't see a motorcycle parked in front of a psychologist". Which is of course a tongue in cheek joke, but the feeling of freedom from riding my bike in the hills has often helped me ease in the sometimes hard realities of home.
- dimmu_bourgeois 3y agoI did not know this going in! I am entirely disconnected from the "D&D world", although a couple of folks in the group are extremely connected and speak about it sometimes.
- PH95VuimJjqBqy 3y agoI have a group of friends that meet for D&D twice a month. For us it's like the nerd's version of going out to a movie. I even made a comment at the birthday party of one of these friends last week. "Come on out, we're terrible D&D players so don't feel embarrassed. We're all just there to have fun". In college I had someone pull me to the side and tell me I wasn't taking the tabletop sessions seriously enough (it was GURPS rather than D&D). All these years later, I'm not friends with this person (other reasons, but the point remains).
- em-bee 3y agoi don't play a lot of D&D but joined a few campaigns over the years. i never bothered to learn the rules. i don't care. the rules are not why i play. i let others worry about that. i'd even DM without knowing the rules. when creating a campaign the main point is a great setting and imaginative descriptions. when i need monster stats then i just look up recommended stats to suit the level of players in the group. if the monster is to weak, i fudge the rolls. likewise if it is to strong. the players won't know. the point is to create an outcome that drives the story forward and let everyone have fun.
- vertis 3y agoI never had such bad D&D sessions as those at University. Group just wanted to argue over the rules. The best D&D sessions I ever had the rules were there just as a guide, and the story would carry you away (how did we make it to sun rise again)
- rascul 3y agoI was a ranger with goblins as a favored enemy and I never once got to kill one. I feel cheated.
- pavel_lishin 3y agoThat sounds like a failure of the DM, to be honest.
- tvink 3y agoI was super privileged that my school psychologist, in response to me being bullied, suggested I join a DnD club outside of school life. So at 11 i joined a group with older kids and a grown-up, empathetic GM. Played for 7 years, and it saved me completely. And made my english much better (because NOTHING is as embarrassing as reading words from the rulebook out wrong and the older kids chuckle)
- throwaway54172 3y ago[dead]
- aaron695 3y ago[dead]
- okonomiyaki3000 3y agoThe part I don't get is where he says "Why" is an arrogant question. I think "Why" is usually the most important question. What about it is arrogant? Am I just too arrogant to see it?
- w4yai 3y agoIt is not. Arrogance has nothing to do with curiosity. OP is going through serious trauma and anxiety. My guess is there are high chances asking questions led him to bad experiences in the past, and associated it with something bad. Asking someone to explain something is a normal and safe thing. No wonder why OP has anxiety disorders if he learnt otherwise during his childhood.
- dimmu_bourgeois 3y agoThere were a couple of things that helped me write about mental health stuff: (1) Writing it more like a journal (2) Writing anonymously The problem with #1 is that stuff often makes it in that is related, but off-the-cuff and poorly worded + explained. This is an example of that problem. I'll write about this topic when it suits me, but the "why" I call arrogant here is an assumption that all suffering requires an explanation, or a reason behind. It doesn't. Sometimes things just happen. Why is also a damaging question when you can't let it go. And I see that a lot around me. We're very small; most commonplace answers to "why" are just things that make us feel something for a moment, and have very little value outside of that. I had a great childhood, and I've always been very curious. "Why does Mojo have a borrow-checker" is a perfectly curious why; "What does Mojo gain from using a borrow-checker" is a more pragmatic and more useful question, I think. > My guess is there are high chances asking questions led him to bad experiences in the past, and associated it with something bad. Asking someone to explain something is a normal and safe thing. No wonder why OP has anxiety disorders if he learnt otherwise during his childhood. A question to ask of yourselves: What was it about having "why" labelled as an arrogant question that got under your skin enough to comment? Why did you feel it was helpful to write something akin to an "armchair diagnosis" above? This kind of response contributes to me writing anonymously.
- emptysongglass 3y agoReading this I wished for a lot more meat. It ties itself to the Palestine/Israel conflict pretty early on. It's largely a footnote but it makes its presence felt in a narrative that didn't need it. But then it never really makes an effort to explain the how. Something about a shadow dragon master who was attempting to live a life away from its base impulse to do evil. Ok, but give me more on how D&D specifically set up challenging situations that in the end saved your life. I understand this is just someone's blog but I was really hoping to read something meaty here. Instead I got some vague indications of the life-saving potential of D&D without clear explanation. The writer is also a GM, so they should know how to tell a story.
- octokatt 3y ago+1 for this article, I've seen the same a lot. Having played and run D&D for 30+ years, I've found the biggest power fantasy for players is never throwing a fireball or killing a dragon. Usually, it's just being powerful enough to save someone. To make the world better because you were there. Having a conversation that's not possible real life, and (with a good DM) getting some version of resolution. On a lighter note, seriously, it's nice to have a conversation about life that isn't about _your_ life. Your life might suck right now, no one's fault, but it's to the point where casually talking about your life is uncomfortable for everyone. But Grogdor's life, where he just got a talking sword? Suddenly you can have small talk and social connection again without friction.