3 ms·

As far as I can tell it's the women that are complaining about the lack of available men, not the reverse.

moffkalast 3y ago
Tell from what? I've always heard it as the exact opposite. From the article: From men: > The apps are algorithmic doom barrels > I’m fated to end up alone > he has tried Bumble, Match, Badoo and Facebook dating, but in nearly three years has only met one person, with whom he had six dates before the relationship ended > The vast majority of matches have resulted in no dialogue, most of the rest there was a bit of to and fro before being ghosted From women: > I meet so many men,” she says enthusiastically > So I’ve given myself the challenge of flirting with one person every day, which has been a lot of fun > I was getting a torrent of likes – and I absolutely hated it > I’m simply looking for an interesting or creative person, and that’s one thing you can’t spot easily on an app, but then I’d get too many matches, which was really overwhelming > I’d get a lot of comments about being a wheelchair user Hell even disabled women seem to have absolutely no issue getting matches. Maybe the buffet of men they get to fastidiously sort through isn't well stocked enough for them? Well la di da, welcome to reality.
- agent327 3y ago
  There appears to be quite a large contingent of women that are upset with so-called 'passport bros', as well as women that have hit the wall and haven't yet come to terms with the fact that it's too late to establish a family. But you are right that younger women are having the time of their lives; for that group, everything is possible on the dating apps.
Spivak 3y ago
s/available/acceptable and you have it. There's a reason for this, how we raise girls is tailored to making good girlfriend/wife material. You don't see the incredible amount of effort that is spent over a lifetime to this end because we're used to it. Once you see the dynamic you can't unsee it. It even happens with bisexual women where the joke is, "I'm attracted to like 10 men and every woman." For better and worse boys don't get this treatment. If you spent 10,000 hours under the weight of intense social and societal pressure to mold yourself into someone that you think of as attractive because your social status depends on it, where the idea of what's attractive that has been planted into your brain since birth lines up with what women find desirable in a partner i'd bet you'd be a catch too. There's a huge impedance mismatch that is set up to hurt men which is that being the kind of guy that women find attractive hurts your social status among men. Pretty boy is used as an insult but you will find no shortage of women throwing themselves at them.
- Reubend 3y ago
  > There's a reason for this, how we raise girls is tailored to making good girlfriend/wife material. You don't see the incredible amount of effort that is spent over a lifetime to this end because we're used to it. No, you're mistaking pressure to conform for pressure to be attractive. Women are constantly pressured not to stray too far away from society's defaults, and they're judged much more strictly for non-conformism than men are. But the things which mainstream society encourages for women in the name of conformity have a huge overlap with what men consider attractive anyway (a quick example which comes to mind is the pressure to stay thin). Whereas men still gain social status by being attractive, but are given much more leeway to deviate in their lifestyles. > ...being the kind of guy that women find attractive hurts your social status among men. Pretty boy is used as an insult but you will find no shortage of women throwing themselves at them. No, being attractive is still a boost for a man's social status. Being tall, or rich, or strong won't get you insulted at all. "Pretty boy" is an exception, but I could compare it to "bimbo" for women.

Tell from what? I've always heard it as the exact opposite. From the article: From men: > The apps are algorithmic doom barrels > I’m fated to end up alone > he has tried Bumble, Match, Badoo and Facebook dating, but in nearly three years has only met one person, with whom he had six dates before the relationship ended > The vast majority of matches have resulted in no dialogue, most of the rest there was a bit of to and fro before being ghosted From women: > I meet so many men,” she says enthusiastically > So I’ve given myself the challenge of flirting with one person every day, which has been a lot of fun > I was getting a torrent of likes – and I absolutely hated it > I’m simply looking for an interesting or creative person, and that’s one thing you can’t spot easily on an app, but then I’d get too many matches, which was really overwhelming > I’d get a lot of comments about being a wheelchair user Hell even disabled women seem to have absolutely no issue getting matches. Maybe the buffet of men they get to fastidiously sort through isn't well stocked enough for them? Well la di da, welcome to reality.

agent327 3y ago
There appears to be quite a large contingent of women that are upset with so-called 'passport bros', as well as women that have hit the wall and haven't yet come to terms with the fact that it's too late to establish a family. But you are right that younger women are having the time of their lives; for that group, everything is possible on the dating apps.

Spivak 3y ago

s/available/acceptable and you have it. There's a reason for this, how we raise girls is tailored to making good girlfriend/wife material. You don't see the incredible amount of effort that is spent over a lifetime to this end because we're used to it. Once you see the dynamic you can't unsee it. It even happens with bisexual women where the joke is, "I'm attracted to like 10 men and every woman." For better and worse boys don't get this treatment. If you spent 10,000 hours under the weight of intense social and societal pressure to mold yourself into someone that you think of as attractive because your social status depends on it, where the idea of what's attractive that has been planted into your brain since birth lines up with what women find desirable in a partner i'd bet you'd be a catch too. There's a huge impedance mismatch that is set up to hurt men which is that being the kind of guy that women find attractive hurts your social status among men. Pretty boy is used as an insult but you will find no shortage of women throwing themselves at them.

Reubend 3y ago
> There's a reason for this, how we raise girls is tailored to making good girlfriend/wife material. You don't see the incredible amount of effort that is spent over a lifetime to this end because we're used to it. No, you're mistaking pressure to conform for pressure to be attractive. Women are constantly pressured not to stray too far away from society's defaults, and they're judged much more strictly for non-conformism than men are. But the things which mainstream society encourages for women in the name of conformity have a huge overlap with what men consider attractive anyway (a quick example which comes to mind is the pressure to stay thin). Whereas men still gain social status by being attractive, but are given much more leeway to deviate in their lifestyles. > ...being the kind of guy that women find attractive hurts your social status among men. Pretty boy is used as an insult but you will find no shortage of women throwing themselves at them. No, being attractive is still a boost for a man's social status. Being tall, or rich, or strong won't get you insulted at all. "Pretty boy" is an exception, but I could compare it to "bimbo" for women.