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An alternative read on your idea is more of an elitist view of how we spend our free time. You’re basically judging the quality of what people choose to do. I’

by dangus 3y ago

An alternative read on your idea is more of an elitist view of how we spend our free time. You’re basically judging the quality of what people choose to do. I’m allowed to just exist and be happy with it. Perhaps I don’t need a hobby to keep me happy. Perhaps my favorite thing to do is watch Netflix with my family. Who are you to judge? It really has nothing to do with the low quality of dating apps, that can be blamed squarely on Match.com’s monopolistic anti-competitive tactics.

BiteCode_dev 3y ago
I wish it were true, but no. Unless you are Jesus or Buddha, there are things that will very likely make you unhappy. e.g: eating a lot of crappy food and spending a lot of time watching tv shows are one of them. It diminishes your health, put your dopamine system in shamble and bring no meaning in your life. It's very rare people are happy in those conditions. Again there is nothing wrong about enjoying those activities and indulging in them. The point is it's unlikely you can fill your life with it and end up satisfied.
- dangus 3y ago
  I wish your comment were true, but no. I’m right and you’re wrong. The happiness police has determined that you are the one who is unhappy.
  - BiteCode_dev 3y ago
    It's one of the rare instance where biology, sociology, philosophy and religion kinda agree. You can share your own opinion as usual, but it's going to be a hard sale. It's not about forcing the idea on you, rather it's reporting what a lot of humanity have found to be true on the long run.
- lazide 3y ago
  Is someone forcing anyone to sit down and do those things? Could they go for a walk instead?
  - BiteCode_dev 3y ago
    That's what I meant about human being biased to that attitude. We technically have a choice, but practically, our biology and social context make one path very attractive.
  - ben_w 3y ago
    "Going for a walk" is great, when you can do it. Based on my experiences when I visited the USA, with sidewalks in most of the states I visited suddenly stopping for no apparent reason forcing me to re-trace my steps and take a different route, or with many road crossings feeling so dangerous that I was seriously tempted to take a taxi even for really small distances[0]? There's plenty of places where the city designers make this unnecessarily hard. One of the reasons I chose Berlin over San Francisco when I was deciding how to show the ultimate lawful middle finger to UK politics, was that I like walking. [0] it's only the 0.4 miles from the The Cupertino Hotel to 1 Infinite Loop, but ten lanes on the North De Anza Boulevard and 2/3 on the on/off ramps connecting it with the Junipero Serra Freeway is terrifying.
    - lazide 3y ago
      Very true, especially in the specifics IMO. The friction getting to a park is non trivial in that area too.
    - agent327 3y ago
      I was staying in the Holiday Inn Express at Dubai airport the other day, which is less than 400m from the entrance to Terminal 3 at that same airport (and the metro station located there), making it a convenient hotel for my few days in Dubai. What I hadn't noticed was that there is a major road inbetween, and that the walking time, according to Google Maps, is 92 minutes, covering a distance of 6.8km! So yeah, I took a taxi...
    - ardourdev 3y ago
      Agreed about Cupertino but San Francisco is very walkable!
  - dasudasu 3y ago
Eumenes 3y ago
There's nothing wrong with watching TV/Netflix in your free time. Its a free country. But, don't be surprised if alot of prospective dates to find that boring or milquetoast. Dating profiles seem to be written by ChatGPT, for both men and women, and the most common included "hobby" is generally, Netflix. Imo, it screams: low effort.
- jwells89 3y ago
  Another type of profile some might find boring are those where the person’s hobbies are those that are the area’s “defaults”, like a profile for someone living in the Pacific Northwest mentioning that they hike… nothing wrong with that as a hobby, but when almost everybody in the area on the app has that as their hobby too it’s not going to help you stand out.
  - dangus 3y ago
    Wow so not only am I being told to get myself a hobby but it has to be so unique that nobody else is doing it? It’s no wonder these dating apps aren’t working when standards are so high!
    - Detrytus 3y ago
      Ideally you need at least two hobbies: one that you and your Tinder match have in common, so you can do it together, and the other one that is weird and unique so you can impress them, and sustain their interest :-D
    - jwells89 3y ago
      With the way dating apps work, you’ve gotta try to make an impression because they make users feel embarrassed for choice. If your profile is basically the same as everybody else’s you’re probably gonna get swiped left unless you’ve got outstanding looks and/or eye-catching photos. Just put yourself in the shoes of someone who might see your profile. If I’m a bearded guy who enjoys hiking, Netflix, and IPAs what reason do they have to swipe right on me compared to the other 50 bearded guys who also enjoy hiking, Netflix, and IPAs?
zo1 3y ago
Society structures itself in such a way to achieve equilibrium in all things, eventually. There is an abundance of "free time" so things, hobbies, culture, politics, sex, everything has slowly waddled into a zone that seeks to fully-utilize all that free time in whichever way it can.
johnnyanmac 3y ago
>I’m allowed to just exist and be happy with it. Perhaps I don’t need a hobby to keep me happy. Perhaps my favorite thing to do is watch Netflix with my family. Who are you to judge? See heres the difference, "your family". your goal with Netflix in that sentence isn't necessarily to just enjoy your favorite shows, it's to bond together with people you very likely spent years taking care of. Now, as for me with no hobbies as a single overweight dude in the suburbs who's only possible redeeming factor is making decent money... Do you think I have a chance of achieving such a family if I took on your quote (minus the "with my family")? Even if Tinder wasn't enshittified I'd sure have a hard time carrying a conversation with any potential dates. Yes, they will judge me, hard. I'm not physically attractive enough to ignore being interesting (and not that financially attractive either. I'm not buying a partner 4 star meals every day levels of rich). (I am mostly underselling myself here btw... mostly. I do have hobbies past Netflix thankfully).

by dangus 3y ago

BiteCode_dev 3y ago

I wish it were true, but no. Unless you are Jesus or Buddha, there are things that will very likely make you unhappy. e.g: eating a lot of crappy food and spending a lot of time watching tv shows are one of them. It diminishes your health, put your dopamine system in shamble and bring no meaning in your life. It's very rare people are happy in those conditions. Again there is nothing wrong about enjoying those activities and indulging in them. The point is it's unlikely you can fill your life with it and end up satisfied.

dangus 3y ago
I wish your comment were true, but no. I’m right and you’re wrong. The happiness police has determined that you are the one who is unhappy.
- BiteCode_dev 3y ago
  It's one of the rare instance where biology, sociology, philosophy and religion kinda agree. You can share your own opinion as usual, but it's going to be a hard sale. It's not about forcing the idea on you, rather it's reporting what a lot of humanity have found to be true on the long run.
lazide 3y ago
Is someone forcing anyone to sit down and do those things? Could they go for a walk instead?
- BiteCode_dev 3y ago
  That's what I meant about human being biased to that attitude. We technically have a choice, but practically, our biology and social context make one path very attractive.
- ben_w 3y ago
  "Going for a walk" is great, when you can do it. Based on my experiences when I visited the USA, with sidewalks in most of the states I visited suddenly stopping for no apparent reason forcing me to re-trace my steps and take a different route, or with many road crossings feeling so dangerous that I was seriously tempted to take a taxi even for really small distances[0]? There's plenty of places where the city designers make this unnecessarily hard. One of the reasons I chose Berlin over San Francisco when I was deciding how to show the ultimate lawful middle finger to UK politics, was that I like walking. [0] it's only the 0.4 miles from the The Cupertino Hotel to 1 Infinite Loop, but ten lanes on the North De Anza Boulevard and 2/3 on the on/off ramps connecting it with the Junipero Serra Freeway is terrifying.
  - lazide 3y ago
    Very true, especially in the specifics IMO. The friction getting to a park is non trivial in that area too.
  - agent327 3y ago
    I was staying in the Holiday Inn Express at Dubai airport the other day, which is less than 400m from the entrance to Terminal 3 at that same airport (and the metro station located there), making it a convenient hotel for my few days in Dubai. What I hadn't noticed was that there is a major road inbetween, and that the walking time, according to Google Maps, is 92 minutes, covering a distance of 6.8km! So yeah, I took a taxi...
  - ardourdev 3y ago
    Agreed about Cupertino but San Francisco is very walkable!
- dasudasu 3y ago

Eumenes 3y ago

There's nothing wrong with watching TV/Netflix in your free time. Its a free country. But, don't be surprised if alot of prospective dates to find that boring or milquetoast. Dating profiles seem to be written by ChatGPT, for both men and women, and the most common included "hobby" is generally, Netflix. Imo, it screams: low effort.

jwells89 3y ago
Another type of profile some might find boring are those where the person’s hobbies are those that are the area’s “defaults”, like a profile for someone living in the Pacific Northwest mentioning that they hike… nothing wrong with that as a hobby, but when almost everybody in the area on the app has that as their hobby too it’s not going to help you stand out.
- dangus 3y ago
  Wow so not only am I being told to get myself a hobby but it has to be so unique that nobody else is doing it? It’s no wonder these dating apps aren’t working when standards are so high!
  - Detrytus 3y ago
    Ideally you need at least two hobbies: one that you and your Tinder match have in common, so you can do it together, and the other one that is weird and unique so you can impress them, and sustain their interest :-D
  - jwells89 3y ago
    With the way dating apps work, you’ve gotta try to make an impression because they make users feel embarrassed for choice. If your profile is basically the same as everybody else’s you’re probably gonna get swiped left unless you’ve got outstanding looks and/or eye-catching photos. Just put yourself in the shoes of someone who might see your profile. If I’m a bearded guy who enjoys hiking, Netflix, and IPAs what reason do they have to swipe right on me compared to the other 50 bearded guys who also enjoy hiking, Netflix, and IPAs?

zo1 3y ago

Society structures itself in such a way to achieve equilibrium in all things, eventually. There is an abundance of "free time" so things, hobbies, culture, politics, sex, everything has slowly waddled into a zone that seeks to fully-utilize all that free time in whichever way it can.

johnnyanmac 3y ago

>I’m allowed to just exist and be happy with it. Perhaps I don’t need a hobby to keep me happy. Perhaps my favorite thing to do is watch Netflix with my family. Who are you to judge? See heres the difference, "your family". your goal with Netflix in that sentence isn't necessarily to just enjoy your favorite shows, it's to bond together with people you very likely spent years taking care of. Now, as for me with no hobbies as a single overweight dude in the suburbs who's only possible redeeming factor is making decent money... Do you think I have a chance of achieving such a family if I took on your quote (minus the "with my family")? Even if Tinder wasn't enshittified I'd sure have a hard time carrying a conversation with any potential dates. Yes, they will judge me, hard. I'm not physically attractive enough to ignore being interesting (and not that financially attractive either. I'm not buying a partner 4 star meals every day levels of rich). (I am mostly underselling myself here btw... mostly. I do have hobbies past Netflix thankfully).