2 ms·

Swiping killed dating apps for me. It feels too final, too brutal, too spur-of-the-moment. Maybe these people are lovely, maybe they will change their profile

Swiping killed dating apps for me. It feels too final, too brutal, too spur-of-the-moment. Maybe these people are lovely, maybe they will change their profile and I will change my mind. What if they swipe yes for me and I miss out on meeting a wonderful person. I've tried, but I just can't do it. By forcing me into making a quick choice you have forced me into choosing not to choose.

urlwolf 3y ago
OKCupid was the one non-swiping app left, and after being bought by the match.com group it became pretty much the same. There's at least something to read for those who care (and the questions system).
globular-toast 3y ago
In my experience, I know within a fraction of a second whether I'm actually attracted to someone. I have never become attracted to someone later if I wasn't attracted in the first place. But there's no way I could tell you what the criteria are for being attracted to someone. There are beautiful women I'm not attracted to and there are less photogenic women I'm very attracted to. There are so many factors at play: the way they carry themselves, their voice, their smell, that je ne sais quoi... Swiping makes you think you are doing efficient filtration except it's showing you only an approximation of someone through a keyhole. I've met up with matches and found they don't look the same in 3D, we don't vibe and sometimes they just don't smell right (smell is an extremely important sense for attraction). After wasting time with definite negatives that you thought were positives you wonder how many positives you rejected just because they didn't meet some criterion that barely matters. All the real negatives swiping works for (like obesity, tattoos, peircings etc for me) would be easily filtered out in real life without even thinking about it.

2 ms·

Swiping killed dating apps for me. It feels too final, too brutal, too spur-of-the-moment. Maybe these people are lovely, maybe they will change their profile

by sambeau 3y ago

urlwolf 3y ago
OKCupid was the one non-swiping app left, and after being bought by the match.com group it became pretty much the same. There's at least something to read for those who care (and the questions system).
globular-toast 3y ago
In my experience, I know within a fraction of a second whether I'm actually attracted to someone. I have never become attracted to someone later if I wasn't attracted in the first place. But there's no way I could tell you what the criteria are for being attracted to someone. There are beautiful women I'm not attracted to and there are less photogenic women I'm very attracted to. There are so many factors at play: the way they carry themselves, their voice, their smell, that je ne sais quoi... Swiping makes you think you are doing efficient filtration except it's showing you only an approximation of someone through a keyhole. I've met up with matches and found they don't look the same in 3D, we don't vibe and sometimes they just don't smell right (smell is an extremely important sense for attraction). After wasting time with definite negatives that you thought were positives you wonder how many positives you rejected just because they didn't meet some criterion that barely matters. All the real negatives swiping works for (like obesity, tattoos, peircings etc for me) would be easily filtered out in real life without even thinking about it.