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Living in a world of chaos means you have more opportunities to see potential darkness within yourself than the average person. Thinking about dark things can
by growingkittens 3y ago
Living in a world of chaos means you have more opportunities to see potential darkness within yourself than the average person.
Thinking about dark things can be a side effect of being exposed to the dark parts of the world constantly. Suffering is inherently dark.
Systems are complex. It sounds like the DID system within your brain collapsed when a key part of the system stopped collaborating. That doesn't reflect on you: it would be like judging yourself for having an autoimmune condition, where your body is attacking itself. You don't have control over your autoimmune system.
I visualize it like this. There's the part of the brain that runs the DID system, and there's the part of the brain that culminates in your consciousness, which experiences the DID system. There's cross-talk between these systems because they use the same pathways.
- LoganDark 3y ago> Systems are complex. It sounds like the DID system within your brain collapsed when a key part of the system stopped collaborating. Sorry, it was not someone within the system, it was someone external. It was heartbreak after a period of deep discomfort. Don't worry, I spend a lot of my life trying to make sense of DID stuff. It's the curse of being autistic, I guess.
- growingkittens 3y agoThe person existed external to the DID system, but your internal system came to depend on their continued existence in your life. The DID system changed how it worked to adapt to the existence of this person. When that person left (stopped collaborating), the internal systems that depended on that person's existence collapsed. System dynamics are universal. :)