There’s a joke I like a lot (fair warning: it is a stupid one). An elderly husband and wife die in their sleep on the same night. They both appear before the p

There’s a joke I like a lot (fair warning: it is a stupid one). An elderly husband and wife die in their sleep on the same night. They both appear before the pearly gates, where St. John takes them on a tour of the heavens, ending with the banquet hall. The table is overflowing with all sorts of delicious foods—sweets, beautiful cuts of meat, cakes, cocktails, etc. This puts the husband in a foul mood, which further degrades into full-on sulking when he sees the liquor cabinet and the humidor. Eventually, his wife says to him “okay, dear, out with it. What did I do wrong this time?” The husband glares back at her and mutters under his breath, “you and your damn bran-muffins… we could have been here years ago.”