Because you just haven't seen a correct implementation of AGILE. If we look at the AGILE Manifesto then we know for sure that there is no way this would ever be

Because you just haven't seen a correct implementation of AGILE. If we look at the AGILE Manifesto then we know for sure that there is no way this would ever be allowed if applied perfectly. And humans excel at perfect implementations. Begone with the naysayers that keep deriding our objectively pure implementation of AGILE. Okay, okay, I can't anymore, its too much, I agree. So how about we just fight fire with fire. I propose a new religion named JOUST. I don't have the energy or time to invent more than the name. Use AI to create the system. Start amplifying the signal that JOUST is the new AGILE and soon, we will have a new word for micromanagement. I have seen two distinct implementations of AGILE and neither has left me thinking that anything was gained. I also have a deep resentment for the word sprint. Sprint means go at the fastest possible pace, yet there is no downtime in between sprints? Bad analogies are great. Show me a cheetah that sprints 5 days a week for 9 hours a day with 2 days of "rest" in between.