4 ms·

> I came across a post that made some fairly convincing arguments against this sort of "just go out" suggestion. Call me crazy but it's not hard to run into te

> I came across a post that made some fairly convincing arguments against this sort of "just go out" suggestion. Call me crazy but it's not hard to run into techno-propaganda. > Many people aren't interested in spending a ton of time getting to know someone only to find out that they aren't interested in a relationship. I think it just comes with age. I'm in my 30s now and women are not even a potential dating option for me until I know them for other reasons. If that makes them think I'm "playing" hard to get, that's a bonus. Physical attraction and momentary lust is shallow. Most people are attracted to most people by default. Just go out and meet people and take your time. High latency doesn't necessarily mean low throughput. > dating services were/are a standard feature of many societies Ah yes don't we all look forward to a new era of techno-feudalism.

sshine 3y ago
> Just go out and meet people and take your time. High latency doesn't necessarily mean low throughput. I agree except about the “Just” part. I had to break out of my lifestyle, since I wasn’t meeting anyone at work or at the gym. I wasn’t meeting in large groups of friends of friends like in my 20s.
- MzHN 3y ago
  How did you change your lifestyle?
  - sshine 3y ago
    I overdid it. Quit work for a year, became a competition-level CrossFitter, started smoking and doing party drugs. Got a girlfriend who didn’t like my real self once it crept back during employment. Dating-wise, after that, I didn’t spend too much time with anyone I couldn’t see myself have kids with; alcoholic, depressed, or not attractive enough. I dated 3 people in 8 months and made sure to not drag things out for comfort. Sustainable lifestyle change takes years, but is its own reward. Work out, cook, have hobbies, do things offline, get good at ‘co-living’ skills like cleaning up and laundry. My wife puts up with a lot still! LARP’ing is always temporary.
MarkSweep 3y ago
>> dating services were/are a standard feature of many societies > Ah yes don't we all look forward to a new era of techno-feudalism. I think you misunderstood the post you were replying to. Matchmaking services predate the internet and the telephone. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matchmaking https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matchmaking
- sublinear 3y ago
  > I think you misunderstood Not at all
  - MarkSweep 3y ago
    I should have been more clear why I thought there was a misunderstanding. How is a matchmaker "techno-feudalism"? Specifically the role of a human matchmaker who knows people in the local community and makes introductions.

sshine 3y ago

> Just go out and meet people and take your time. High latency doesn't necessarily mean low throughput. I agree except about the “Just” part. I had to break out of my lifestyle, since I wasn’t meeting anyone at work or at the gym. I wasn’t meeting in large groups of friends of friends like in my 20s.

MzHN 3y ago
How did you change your lifestyle?
- sshine 3y ago
  I overdid it. Quit work for a year, became a competition-level CrossFitter, started smoking and doing party drugs. Got a girlfriend who didn’t like my real self once it crept back during employment. Dating-wise, after that, I didn’t spend too much time with anyone I couldn’t see myself have kids with; alcoholic, depressed, or not attractive enough. I dated 3 people in 8 months and made sure to not drag things out for comfort. Sustainable lifestyle change takes years, but is its own reward. Work out, cook, have hobbies, do things offline, get good at ‘co-living’ skills like cleaning up and laundry. My wife puts up with a lot still! LARP’ing is always temporary.

MarkSweep 3y ago

>> dating services were/are a standard feature of many societies > Ah yes don't we all look forward to a new era of techno-feudalism. I think you misunderstood the post you were replying to. Matchmaking services predate the internet and the telephone. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matchmaking https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matchmaking

sublinear 3y ago
> I think you misunderstood Not at all
- MarkSweep 3y ago
  I should have been more clear why I thought there was a misunderstanding. How is a matchmaker "techno-feudalism"? Specifically the role of a human matchmaker who knows people in the local community and makes introductions.