3 ms·

It’s funny because my experience has been that my mom was always 100% right about the women I would bring around.

sublinear 3y ago
Yes, my mother was also right when my choices needed improvement. At some point I started finding women that also satisfied my requirements, not just hers. Like everything else in life, you can't depend on your parents forever. The best partners are far beyond just mother approved, but people also change.
- Belopolye 3y ago
  > Like everything else in life, you can't depend on your parents forever. The best partners are far beyond just mother approved, but people also change. I can agree with this, and I think there may be something to the idea that the people who know you best (in a healthy parent-child relationship) may have a good grasp on who may make a good partner. I’d also count friends.
robocat 3y ago
> mom was always 100% right 100% right about the bad matches? Have you had a good match yet? It is easier to be 100% right with negative opinion if your taste in partners is terrible. Or perhaps there is a selection bias and terrible partners choose you (I've seen this pattern with women-who give-too-much pairing with partners-that-take-too-much). A pattern I have noticed with heterosexual couples. Female friends can often spot bad female partners. Male friends can often spot unsuitable male partners. Could just be specific to my peers of course.
- Belopolye 3y ago
  100% correct on both good and bad matches. The women who were just awful matches for me very quickly got the thumbs down, while the best relationships I had were all met with a lot of support. My mom’s first reaction after meeting my now wife was “how did you get her? Hell, I’ll marry her if you don’t.” Take this anecdote for what it’s worth. :)
  - robocat 3y ago
    Any idea of the reason your mum is skillful? Is she particularly good at seeing who fits you (plus seeing that you fit them)? Or perhaps she has a general skill of reading people and could pick for someone else (not you). Presumably she is looking at character? My guess would be your mum has skills. Certainly I know some mum's who don't!

Yes, my mother was also right when my choices needed improvement. At some point I started finding women that also satisfied my requirements, not just hers. Like everything else in life, you can't depend on your parents forever. The best partners are far beyond just mother approved, but people also change.

Belopolye 3y ago
> Like everything else in life, you can't depend on your parents forever. The best partners are far beyond just mother approved, but people also change. I can agree with this, and I think there may be something to the idea that the people who know you best (in a healthy parent-child relationship) may have a good grasp on who may make a good partner. I’d also count friends.

robocat 3y ago

> mom was always 100% right 100% right about the bad matches? Have you had a good match yet? It is easier to be 100% right with negative opinion if your taste in partners is terrible. Or perhaps there is a selection bias and terrible partners choose you (I've seen this pattern with women-who give-too-much pairing with partners-that-take-too-much). A pattern I have noticed with heterosexual couples. Female friends can often spot bad female partners. Male friends can often spot unsuitable male partners. Could just be specific to my peers of course.

Belopolye 3y ago
100% correct on both good and bad matches. The women who were just awful matches for me very quickly got the thumbs down, while the best relationships I had were all met with a lot of support. My mom’s first reaction after meeting my now wife was “how did you get her? Hell, I’ll marry her if you don’t.” Take this anecdote for what it’s worth. :)
- robocat 3y ago
  Any idea of the reason your mum is skillful? Is she particularly good at seeing who fits you (plus seeing that you fit them)? Or perhaps she has a general skill of reading people and could pick for someone else (not you). Presumably she is looking at character? My guess would be your mum has skills. Certainly I know some mum's who don't!