I have all the usual gripes, but right now the top one is slow and complicated onboarding. There is no reason for dev environments and permissions to be set up

I have all the usual gripes, but right now the top one is slow and complicated onboarding. There is no reason for dev environments and permissions to be set up manually. Automate it, test it, use CI/CD to keep it working, and you'll be able to hand new hires their computers and have them hit the road running before lunchtime. Of course you want to do pair programming, or better yet, mob programming at least the first few weeks to get into way of working and team cohesion, there's no technical silver bullet for that. Also, stop issuing Windows machines or making devs deploy on Windows unless they are explicitly developing for the Windows stack and/or ask for it. Let them choose between Mac and Linux, or if you're resource constrained, just Linux.