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Marriage is a formal process that provides a standard framework in which two families get to know one another. The problem with American relationships is that

Marriage is a formal process that provides a standard framework in which two families get to know one another. The problem with American relationships is that it deals with two people. A marriage is the full joining of two full families. By marrying my wife, I made my uncle related to my wife's uncle, so they better kind of get along. Indeed I have a vested interest in them getting along because it benefits my children. A wedding provides a formal and socially acceptable way for these sorts of interactions to occur. If I just moved in with my wife... What are the chances her distant cousins would meet mine? Zero, I imagine. A wedding brings them together and benefits everyone. But most Americans don't really have extended families so I see why weddings seem strange.

ghusto 3y ago
Bingo! First actual answer to the question. I hadn't thought of the extended family benefit, and that's maybe a good one. Though I will say from all I can tell, our families have had the same level of mingling that they would have had we got married. Could be wrong though. But yes, many western cultures don't really have close extended families, so even this point is mostly null. I have an inkling as to why people get married in the west, but I don't want to be set on fire here ;)
- anon291 3y ago
  > I hadn't thought of the extended family benefit, and that's maybe a good one. Though I will say from all I can tell, our families have had the same level of mingling that they would have had we got married. Could be wrong though. But maybe if marriage were more prevalent culturally, they would have? > But yes, many western cultures don't really have close extended families, so even this point is mostly null. Western culture is also rife with divorce, which creates a culture in which extended family doesn't actually want to meet, since divorce is like 50/50. Of course, in subcultures in America, like Mormons, certain Asian cultures, traditional Catholics, Orthodox Jews, Amish, etc, there is quite a bit of extended family, and these cultures heavily discourage divorce. So it's pretty hard to detangle causation and correlation? Does extended family prevent divorce? or do intact nuclear families cause extended families? Or is it a feedback loop, that reinforces another? In that case, what is the most prudent action any individual can take to put the process in the right direction?

ghusto 3y ago

Bingo! First actual answer to the question. I hadn't thought of the extended family benefit, and that's maybe a good one. Though I will say from all I can tell, our families have had the same level of mingling that they would have had we got married. Could be wrong though. But yes, many western cultures don't really have close extended families, so even this point is mostly null. I have an inkling as to why people get married in the west, but I don't want to be set on fire here ;)

anon291 3y ago
> I hadn't thought of the extended family benefit, and that's maybe a good one. Though I will say from all I can tell, our families have had the same level of mingling that they would have had we got married. Could be wrong though. But maybe if marriage were more prevalent culturally, they would have? > But yes, many western cultures don't really have close extended families, so even this point is mostly null. Western culture is also rife with divorce, which creates a culture in which extended family doesn't actually want to meet, since divorce is like 50/50. Of course, in subcultures in America, like Mormons, certain Asian cultures, traditional Catholics, Orthodox Jews, Amish, etc, there is quite a bit of extended family, and these cultures heavily discourage divorce. So it's pretty hard to detangle causation and correlation? Does extended family prevent divorce? or do intact nuclear families cause extended families? Or is it a feedback loop, that reinforces another? In that case, what is the most prudent action any individual can take to put the process in the right direction?