3 ms·
Maybe, but anecdotally, despite the zeitgeist of the last 10 years claiming otherwise, my wife and I both raised in middle class suburbs of different parts of r
by ndriscoll 3y ago
Maybe, but anecdotally, despite the zeitgeist of the last 10 years claiming otherwise, my wife and I both raised in middle class suburbs of different parts of red-state Arizona both internalized the message growing up that girls not working was an anachronism that only Mormons/Catholics still stuck to (and that it was "oppressive" or weird). It's so ingrained in the middle/upper middle class that people can't even see it. e.g. this article from Yale[0]:
> Despite efforts to promote gender equality in occupations and professions, many women still choose to stay at home or work part-time. In the United States, for example, a 2015 Gallup survey found that more than half of women with children under age 18 would prefer to stay at home over working outside the home. Also, nearly 40 percent of women without children under age 18 indicated that they preferred the homemaker role.
Let the phrasing sink in. Despite efforts, women still prefer that role. It's quite clear from context that their preference is wrong.
As far as economics goes, people wildly overstate how unachievable it is. Having a stay-at-home parent is not something reserved for the 1%, and in fact many poorer people do it for economic reasons. People have been taught not to want it, so they don't try to figure out how to make it work.
[0] https://archive-yaleglobal.yale.edu/content/more-women-stay-home-men https://archive-yaleglobal.yale.edu/content/more-women-stay-...
- pixl97 3y agoAnd conversely why is there no counter for men being stay at home rather than women? Other than a few month around the time of childbirth there is little reason for the woman to be the stay at home partner.... this is why I doubt the motivation behind the people saying "oh its just women's preference" since surely some sizable portion of men would also like to have this option.
- ndriscoll 3y agoThere has been some progress in that area over the last 30 years; the percent of stay-at-home dads has ~doubled, and now 18% of stay-at-home parents are dads, up from 11% 30 years ago[0]. There are certainly people pushing to normalize SAHDs in addition to calling for gender parity with paternity leave. That said, women are still almost 2x likely to prefer homemaking[1] even with the social engineering, and I suspect women's preferences are stronger than men's (e.g. I think it would be nice to be a SAHD, and I'd prefer it over outside work, but we probably wouldn't be together if my wife weren't the SAHM). So as a man you have to be prepared to accept that that's how the world is. Someone has to bring in money, and it'll probably be you. [0] https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/08/03/almost-1-in-5-stay-at-home-parents-in-the-us-are-dads/ https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/08/03/almost-1-... [1] https://news.gallup.com/poll/267737/record-high-women-prefer-working-homemaking.aspx https://news.gallup.com/poll/267737/record-high-women-prefer...
- em-bee 3y agoOther than a few month around the time of childbirth there is little reason for the woman to be the stay at home partner. i think breastfeeding is still a significant factor for the first year at least. working while breastfeeding can be a challenge.