You’re doing the right thing, but you need to speak their language. In Agile speak, that’s a 3 point spike ticket, for which the deliverable is a detailed set

You’re doing the right thing, but you need to speak their language. In Agile speak, that’s a 3 point spike ticket, for which the deliverable is a detailed set of requirements and deliverables with estimates with considered trade-offs. It’s a totally normal thing to do. You can give an estimate before doing the spike, but maximally caveat it. Like “60% confidence it’ll take fewer than 3 weeks, 80% 5 weeks, 90% 6”. I’d generally recommend refusing to give deadline estimates beyond a week or two (unless it’s absolutely necessary as it sometimes is), preferring piecemeal estimates (i.e. this project is composed of 7 deliverables each taking 1-2 days of work). Reason is that it might take 10 days of engineering work to do something, but due to shifting priorities etc., the calculus of computing a deadline is basically pointless. If the “managers” don’t understand any of this, it’s never going to be peaceful unfortunately.