6 ms·

Leaving the Phone at Home

37 points by _xivi 3y ago

paolomaffei 3y ago
About 2 years ago I found myself once more checking my phone while on the toilet. I decided that was enough, I don't want to be an addict. Since then, all my devices (phones, laptop) now stay in a specific room of the house: the office and they never leave If I badly need GPS to get somewhere I take the dumbphone with me, the phone with the apps simply never leaves the office. But I'll look up the road before instead unless absolutely needed. If I need to meet someone I tell them be on time where we agreed to meet, I won't have a phone with me It's scary to notice how as soon as there's a phone in my pocket the old addiction kicks up
- dot5xdev 3y ago
  What dumbphone supports GPS directions?
  - vel0city 3y ago
    For a long time Google supported a J2ME version of Google Maps that worked on loads of dumb phones
  - barbazoo 3y ago
    > I take the dumbphone with me, the phone with the apps simply never leaves the office Presumably they mean a smartphone without "the apps"
    - dot5xdev 3y ago
      TIL: Apparently, there are flip phones that support Waze: https://youtu.be/zbhIiCtAk34?si=Bc6TrBqCSQbqSUCN&t=194 https://youtu.be/zbhIiCtAk34?si=Bc6TrBqCSQbqSUCN&t=194 Sunbeam F1 Pro
- jxramos 3y ago
  I had a tangible feel for this "addiction" one time when I let my phone run out of battery and I had it next to my laptop. Whenever there was a lull at work or something got hard and I needed a mental break I'd reach for my phone only to pick it up and find an unresponsive black screen. I must have picked it up some six times before it finally hit me how frequently I go to pick up that thing. Somehow the shock of rediscovering the off-state repeatedly and forgetting it really sunk the frequency of the formed habit into my mind. The habit was tangible in that moment.
johnea 3y ago
As a 1970s teenager, I've been trying to communicate for years the sense of liberation that I felt as a teenager, when i would walk out of my parents house, and down the street. No one knew where I was or where I was going, and I DID need to know where I was because I was the one who had to get where I was going, and then back again. This led to a sense of autonomy and self direction that I've found practically impossible to convey to those born since the 1990s, who have grown up in constant communication. It's refreshing, and maybe even a possible sign of AVOIDING the apocalypse to see younger people rediscovering this sense of freedom. I hope more can find it, and the sense of satisfaction it brings...
- Podgajski 3y ago
  I’m a teen of the 70s as well, and I’m currently trying to recapture that sense of liberation. But I can’t believe is how quickly it captured even myself. The fear and anxiety I have of not having even a cell phone is disturbing. Not to mention a smart phone.
  - bombcar 3y ago
    If it's literal anxiety (I could break a leg and not be able to call for help and die type anxiety) get a cell phone that has a good battery and NO SIM. It can still call 911 but can't do anything else.
- pests 3y ago
  I had similar to this. Dumb phones had only become popular in late highschool. I remember sneaking out at 2AM and just hanging out a few streets over in the woods on summer nights. The feeling of walking out of the house at 2AM, full of energy, looking up at the stars, about to begin an adventure, has been forever matched.
- nullc 3y ago
  I'm hearing from multiple friends with teenagers that they're uninterested in learning to drive. Unthinkable to me.
  - deleted 3y ago
fsflover 3y ago
> no one will bother you with anything, no new likes on Instagram, no new offers on Amazon It seems half (if not more) of the problem is distractions by profit-seeking, tracking companies. I solved this problem by choosing a GNU/Linux phone, without any proprietary apps. No distractions, and yet whenever I need to be available, I am. And it feels very liberating, too.
- Podgajski 3y ago
  That’s the truth. I’m trying to save up for a pixel six a or seven a so I can get off of my iPhone and use Graphene OS instead. But I still have about $500 left to pay off my iPhone so I don’t know how to do it yet on my current state of financial existence.
- slau 3y ago
  I have an iPhone, however I’m not on any mainstream social media, and I’m very conservative with the apps I do install, and I prune aggressively. I rarely get push notifications (maybe a handful a week, in that ballpark) from apps. Obviously I receive notifications for emails and messages, but those are “soft notifications” that don’t interrupt me. One thing I’ve found even more liberating: not taking my phone when going out for walks. My watch is enough. I’m still reachable for calls and texts. I still get urgent calendar reminders for meetings, and I can play virtually any song or podcast ever produced, if I so desire.
- ToucanLoucan 3y ago
  I honestly feel perfectly liberated with my iPhone. Yes, I have all these apps. That does not mean I must use them simply because they put a stupid notification up. Do I want to shop? No? Then why would I open Amazon? Do I want to look at what my friends are doing? No? Then why would I open Instagram? I enjoy very much having the ability to remain in contact: with friends. Which is why those notifications are on, for various messaging apps. Work notifications are only on during work hours. I also enjoy the time-wasting aspects of a few mobile games and some social media like Imgur. But like, I only use them when I am choosing to waste time, like if I'm waiting to meet someone and they're running late. Am I that much of an outlier? My phone is a tool, an amazing tool to be sure, but so much of this is written as though people use theirs with shock collars attached; that they have no free will whatsoever and are utterly enslaved by the things.
Podgajski 3y ago
Happy to read this. I just put my MacBook up for sale on eBay. The phone and the computer are way too much. But I find myself more and more trying to leave my phone in my car when I go places. I can’t believe how quickly we’ve became dependent on these devices, when we don’t really need to be dependent on them at all. What kind of witchcraft was it?
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
- standardUser 3y ago
  We were always "dependant" on everything a phone does. We've always needed directions. We've always needed to communicate with friends and family. We've always needed to manage our finances, buy tickets, listen to music, take photographs, read and watch media, keep up with the news, look at porn and use a fucking calculator. I don't think it's the phones at all, I think it's the companies that are abusing our phones as they vy for our attention and data and money. But a smartphone as a baseline concept is the single most useful tool anyone has ever owned.
igorguerrero 3y ago
Somebody please try leaving your phone at work
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
andy_ppp 3y ago
But then I might be left alone with my own thoughts.
bogota 3y ago
I really want to however i am always on-call and the fall through for my team. Although it rarely happens i always have to have a phone with me. It will likely be like that until i retire because of my position.
- stvltvs 3y ago
  I hope you're making bank because all that on-call time should be compensated.
- willsmith72 3y ago
  until you retire? that sounds too stressful. You can't delegate? What about bus factor? Or is it your choice?
ai_monkey 3y ago
Earlier this year I decided to get a cellular Apple watch because, while I want to stay in touch with my partner while walking our dog or running short errands, I don't like having my pockets stuffed. I felt a similar sense of relief and freedom as the article author - it really feels great to not be tethered to the attention economy, but still be in touch with your loved ones using just a tiny device on your wrist. Nowadays I opt for leaving my phone at home as much as I can, and I very rarely face any sort of inconvenience because of it. I think with smartwatches getting more capable now, and reaching dumbphone + navigation + weather info functionality, this is becoming a really solid alternative to carrying a phone with you all the time.
- BooneJS 3y ago
  In bought a cellular Apple Watch a couple of weeks ago for the same reason. Verizon charges me $5/mo for the privilege based on my existing plan.
  - ai_monkey 3y ago
    That's my main gripe as far as the Apple watch is concerned. I'm fortunate enough to have a corporate cell plan so I don't pay anything for it, but I'm not looking forward to having to be on an expensive plan + $5/month if I ever change jobs.
    - bombcar 3y ago
      The list of carriers is so short. I wish I could pay $5 to re-enable cellular on my watch: Appalachian Wireless AT&T C Spire Carolina West Wireless Cellcom Wisconsin Consumer Cellular GCI Nex-Tech Wireless Spectrum Mobile T-Mobile USA US Cellular Verizon Wireless Visible Xfinity Mobile
      - rumblestrut 3y ago
        I’ve been waiting on Cricket since the Apple Watch came out with cellular. They don’t have a plan on when/if it will be available, which seems silly since Cricket is owned by AT&T. But I’ll never go back to AT&T’s prices, so I guess I’m just out.
wand3r 3y ago
I picked up an iPod, the first generation that had the buttons integrated into the scroll wheel, and replaced the battery. I could probably get by loading this up with podcasts, TED talks & audiobooks. My downfall is being insanely bad at directions. So I kind of need to bring my phone with me while driving most places. I have done as the author mentions, and simply walked around my neighborhood without a phone. It really is a great experience. Thanks for this! I will put some more effort into disconnecting more.
- Cerium 3y ago
  If you want to get better at directions, you can try drawing your own maps. When MapQuest was popular, but before I had a smartphone I would usually sketch the map out. A few lines, a few names and you are good to go. Usually won't take more than a couple minutes since you should already know how to go from your house to the main road. Then you simply need to mark down major turns (plus the street before the turn so you don't miss it).
p1mrx 3y ago
See also, the "television is no friend of mine" sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fA9sJ3LBwg&t=11s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fA9sJ3LBwg&t=11s
mattlondon 3y ago
Or just turn off notifications? It's not hard.
- willsmith72 3y ago
  not the same
  - mvdtnz 3y ago
    It solves the author's main issue, > It’s a chain you carry 24/7 connected to the rest of the world, and anyone can pull from the other side. I carry a phone with me at all times but I never have notifications on, not even for phone calls. It's a pull-only device. I do not at all share the author's anxieties because I treat my phone differently. On the odd occasion that I turn notifications back on (maybe I'm waiting for an important call or email) it drives me absolutely up the wall, I can definitely see where the author's anxieties come from.
nevertoolate 3y ago
I have a hunch that the underlying problem is “too much love”. Micromanaging children is the norm, although we kind of have an understanding that it creates less capable adults. Phones are great tool to control people especially as somehow it is the norm that we _should_ answer phone calls at random times during the day. Children of today suffer this. Also who were grown up before the mobile era, like me, we feel responsible to answer the phone because we love to be loved. Maybe we should think about how we give and receive love more :)
standardUser 3y ago
"It’s a chain you carry 24/7 connected to the rest of the world, and anyone can pull from the other side." People seem to forget the era of landlines when our peace and quiet at home could be shattered at any moment by anybody. Cell phones are gentle nudge waiting for us on the table or in our pockets, instead of a literal screaming alarm permeating our entire living space.
- sheepscreek 3y ago
  By that logic, are pagers the happy medium?
  - standardUser 3y ago
    Smartphones give us every option, from screaming alarm to literally turned off. There's no scenario it already can't handle.

37 points by _xivi 3y ago

About 2 years ago I found myself once more checking my phone while on the toilet. I decided that was enough, I don't want to be an addict. Since then, all my devices (phones, laptop) now stay in a specific room of the house: the office and they never leave If I badly need GPS to get somewhere I take the dumbphone with me, the phone with the apps simply never leaves the office. But I'll look up the road before instead unless absolutely needed. If I need to meet someone I tell them be on time where we agreed to meet, I won't have a phone with me It's scary to notice how as soon as there's a phone in my pocket the old addiction kicks up

dot5xdev 3y ago
What dumbphone supports GPS directions?
- vel0city 3y ago
  For a long time Google supported a J2ME version of Google Maps that worked on loads of dumb phones
- barbazoo 3y ago
  > I take the dumbphone with me, the phone with the apps simply never leaves the office Presumably they mean a smartphone without "the apps"
  - dot5xdev 3y ago
    TIL: Apparently, there are flip phones that support Waze: https://youtu.be/zbhIiCtAk34?si=Bc6TrBqCSQbqSUCN&t=194 https://youtu.be/zbhIiCtAk34?si=Bc6TrBqCSQbqSUCN&t=194 Sunbeam F1 Pro
jxramos 3y ago
I had a tangible feel for this "addiction" one time when I let my phone run out of battery and I had it next to my laptop. Whenever there was a lull at work or something got hard and I needed a mental break I'd reach for my phone only to pick it up and find an unresponsive black screen. I must have picked it up some six times before it finally hit me how frequently I go to pick up that thing. Somehow the shock of rediscovering the off-state repeatedly and forgetting it really sunk the frequency of the formed habit into my mind. The habit was tangible in that moment.

johnea 3y ago

As a 1970s teenager, I've been trying to communicate for years the sense of liberation that I felt as a teenager, when i would walk out of my parents house, and down the street. No one knew where I was or where I was going, and I DID need to know where I was because I was the one who had to get where I was going, and then back again. This led to a sense of autonomy and self direction that I've found practically impossible to convey to those born since the 1990s, who have grown up in constant communication. It's refreshing, and maybe even a possible sign of AVOIDING the apocalypse to see younger people rediscovering this sense of freedom. I hope more can find it, and the sense of satisfaction it brings...

Podgajski 3y ago
I’m a teen of the 70s as well, and I’m currently trying to recapture that sense of liberation. But I can’t believe is how quickly it captured even myself. The fear and anxiety I have of not having even a cell phone is disturbing. Not to mention a smart phone.
- bombcar 3y ago
  If it's literal anxiety (I could break a leg and not be able to call for help and die type anxiety) get a cell phone that has a good battery and NO SIM. It can still call 911 but can't do anything else.
pests 3y ago
I had similar to this. Dumb phones had only become popular in late highschool. I remember sneaking out at 2AM and just hanging out a few streets over in the woods on summer nights. The feeling of walking out of the house at 2AM, full of energy, looking up at the stars, about to begin an adventure, has been forever matched.
nullc 3y ago
I'm hearing from multiple friends with teenagers that they're uninterested in learning to drive. Unthinkable to me.
- deleted 3y ago

fsflover 3y ago

> no one will bother you with anything, no new likes on Instagram, no new offers on Amazon It seems half (if not more) of the problem is distractions by profit-seeking, tracking companies. I solved this problem by choosing a GNU/Linux phone, without any proprietary apps. No distractions, and yet whenever I need to be available, I am. And it feels very liberating, too.

Podgajski 3y ago
That’s the truth. I’m trying to save up for a pixel six a or seven a so I can get off of my iPhone and use Graphene OS instead. But I still have about $500 left to pay off my iPhone so I don’t know how to do it yet on my current state of financial existence.
slau 3y ago
I have an iPhone, however I’m not on any mainstream social media, and I’m very conservative with the apps I do install, and I prune aggressively. I rarely get push notifications (maybe a handful a week, in that ballpark) from apps. Obviously I receive notifications for emails and messages, but those are “soft notifications” that don’t interrupt me. One thing I’ve found even more liberating: not taking my phone when going out for walks. My watch is enough. I’m still reachable for calls and texts. I still get urgent calendar reminders for meetings, and I can play virtually any song or podcast ever produced, if I so desire.
ToucanLoucan 3y ago
I honestly feel perfectly liberated with my iPhone. Yes, I have all these apps. That does not mean I must use them simply because they put a stupid notification up. Do I want to shop? No? Then why would I open Amazon? Do I want to look at what my friends are doing? No? Then why would I open Instagram? I enjoy very much having the ability to remain in contact: with friends. Which is why those notifications are on, for various messaging apps. Work notifications are only on during work hours. I also enjoy the time-wasting aspects of a few mobile games and some social media like Imgur. But like, I only use them when I am choosing to waste time, like if I'm waiting to meet someone and they're running late. Am I that much of an outlier? My phone is a tool, an amazing tool to be sure, but so much of this is written as though people use theirs with shock collars attached; that they have no free will whatsoever and are utterly enslaved by the things.

Podgajski 3y ago

Happy to read this. I just put my MacBook up for sale on eBay. The phone and the computer are way too much. But I find myself more and more trying to leave my phone in my car when I go places. I can’t believe how quickly we’ve became dependent on these devices, when we don’t really need to be dependent on them at all. What kind of witchcraft was it?

deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
standardUser 3y ago
We were always "dependant" on everything a phone does. We've always needed directions. We've always needed to communicate with friends and family. We've always needed to manage our finances, buy tickets, listen to music, take photographs, read and watch media, keep up with the news, look at porn and use a fucking calculator. I don't think it's the phones at all, I think it's the companies that are abusing our phones as they vy for our attention and data and money. But a smartphone as a baseline concept is the single most useful tool anyone has ever owned.

igorguerrero 3y ago

Somebody please try leaving your phone at work

deleted 3y ago
[deleted]

andy_ppp 3y ago

But then I might be left alone with my own thoughts.

bogota 3y ago

I really want to however i am always on-call and the fall through for my team. Although it rarely happens i always have to have a phone with me. It will likely be like that until i retire because of my position.

stvltvs 3y ago
I hope you're making bank because all that on-call time should be compensated.
willsmith72 3y ago
until you retire? that sounds too stressful. You can't delegate? What about bus factor? Or is it your choice?

ai_monkey 3y ago

Earlier this year I decided to get a cellular Apple watch because, while I want to stay in touch with my partner while walking our dog or running short errands, I don't like having my pockets stuffed. I felt a similar sense of relief and freedom as the article author - it really feels great to not be tethered to the attention economy, but still be in touch with your loved ones using just a tiny device on your wrist. Nowadays I opt for leaving my phone at home as much as I can, and I very rarely face any sort of inconvenience because of it. I think with smartwatches getting more capable now, and reaching dumbphone + navigation + weather info functionality, this is becoming a really solid alternative to carrying a phone with you all the time.

BooneJS 3y ago
In bought a cellular Apple Watch a couple of weeks ago for the same reason. Verizon charges me $5/mo for the privilege based on my existing plan.
- ai_monkey 3y ago
  That's my main gripe as far as the Apple watch is concerned. I'm fortunate enough to have a corporate cell plan so I don't pay anything for it, but I'm not looking forward to having to be on an expensive plan + $5/month if I ever change jobs.
  - bombcar 3y ago
    The list of carriers is so short. I wish I could pay $5 to re-enable cellular on my watch: Appalachian Wireless AT&T C Spire Carolina West Wireless Cellcom Wisconsin Consumer Cellular GCI Nex-Tech Wireless Spectrum Mobile T-Mobile USA US Cellular Verizon Wireless Visible Xfinity Mobile
    - rumblestrut 3y ago
      I’ve been waiting on Cricket since the Apple Watch came out with cellular. They don’t have a plan on when/if it will be available, which seems silly since Cricket is owned by AT&T. But I’ll never go back to AT&T’s prices, so I guess I’m just out.

wand3r 3y ago

I picked up an iPod, the first generation that had the buttons integrated into the scroll wheel, and replaced the battery. I could probably get by loading this up with podcasts, TED talks & audiobooks. My downfall is being insanely bad at directions. So I kind of need to bring my phone with me while driving most places. I have done as the author mentions, and simply walked around my neighborhood without a phone. It really is a great experience. Thanks for this! I will put some more effort into disconnecting more.

Cerium 3y ago
If you want to get better at directions, you can try drawing your own maps. When MapQuest was popular, but before I had a smartphone I would usually sketch the map out. A few lines, a few names and you are good to go. Usually won't take more than a couple minutes since you should already know how to go from your house to the main road. Then you simply need to mark down major turns (plus the street before the turn so you don't miss it).

p1mrx 3y ago

See also, the "television is no friend of mine" sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fA9sJ3LBwg&t=11s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fA9sJ3LBwg&t=11s

mattlondon 3y ago

Or just turn off notifications? It's not hard.

willsmith72 3y ago
not the same
- mvdtnz 3y ago
  It solves the author's main issue, > It’s a chain you carry 24/7 connected to the rest of the world, and anyone can pull from the other side. I carry a phone with me at all times but I never have notifications on, not even for phone calls. It's a pull-only device. I do not at all share the author's anxieties because I treat my phone differently. On the odd occasion that I turn notifications back on (maybe I'm waiting for an important call or email) it drives me absolutely up the wall, I can definitely see where the author's anxieties come from.

nevertoolate 3y ago

I have a hunch that the underlying problem is “too much love”. Micromanaging children is the norm, although we kind of have an understanding that it creates less capable adults. Phones are great tool to control people especially as somehow it is the norm that we _should_ answer phone calls at random times during the day. Children of today suffer this. Also who were grown up before the mobile era, like me, we feel responsible to answer the phone because we love to be loved. Maybe we should think about how we give and receive love more :)

standardUser 3y ago

"It’s a chain you carry 24/7 connected to the rest of the world, and anyone can pull from the other side." People seem to forget the era of landlines when our peace and quiet at home could be shattered at any moment by anybody. Cell phones are gentle nudge waiting for us on the table or in our pockets, instead of a literal screaming alarm permeating our entire living space.

sheepscreek 3y ago
By that logic, are pagers the happy medium?
- standardUser 3y ago
  Smartphones give us every option, from screaming alarm to literally turned off. There's no scenario it already can't handle.