5 ms·

I wasn't allowed women pals when I was with my wife, she saw them as competition, and I didn't have many growing up. Since separating - I've met a few wonderfu

by ddmf 3y ago

I wasn't allowed women pals when I was with my wife, she saw them as competition, and I didn't have many growing up. Since separating - I've met a few wonderful women who I'm still in touch with - one is my "bestie" for sure and we meet up to eat, I'll go round and play with her kids too. My daughter and I are really close too - we go food shopping once a week, have done since lockdown, and it's amazing how much deeper conversations can go when your mind is concentrating on menial tasks. I definitely feel more well rounded as a man these days, and it's not just age related, it's definitely helped me having women friends.

sirsinsalot 3y ago
Wow she sounds really secure in herself. Glad you got out.
- ddmf 3y ago
  Because of her previous reactions I'll admit that I didn't communicate as effectively as I should have which didn't help - even though I wasn't doing anything wrong, it could have appeared like that - when you don't have the full information you can imagine every scenario.
kredd 3y ago
Ha, that’s actually great to hear! I genuinely enjoy hearing stories like that, making our tiny theory a bit more believable. Regarding the jealousy of others’ partners — it is always a problem! According to my girl friends, we (guys in our group) come up pretty often in talks with their partners or new boyfriends. We try to overcome those problems by either introducing our significant others to the friend group as soon as possible, or exclusively date people who also have platonic friends of opposite sexes. Obviously sometimes things go wrong, then we have to explain these people in very toddler-esque way (“Do you have any siblings of opposite sex? You wouldn’t consider that relationship romantic, would you? Yeah it’s that between us.”). Some people don’t buy it, but we’re kinda used to it at this point. But oh well, such is life.
- ddmf 3y ago
  That sounds really good - I'm almost 50 and amongst my guy pals we still have "lads nights out" and it's very rare for us to go out with partners, unless it's a dinner date thing happening - when I first mentioned I was seeing my pal, I would get some "oh, aye?" looks, but they know it's platonic now. Sounds like it's working for you, hopefully we see more of this as things progress.

by ddmf 3y ago

sirsinsalot 3y ago

Wow she sounds really secure in herself. Glad you got out.

ddmf 3y ago
Because of her previous reactions I'll admit that I didn't communicate as effectively as I should have which didn't help - even though I wasn't doing anything wrong, it could have appeared like that - when you don't have the full information you can imagine every scenario.

kredd 3y ago

Ha, that’s actually great to hear! I genuinely enjoy hearing stories like that, making our tiny theory a bit more believable. Regarding the jealousy of others’ partners — it is always a problem! According to my girl friends, we (guys in our group) come up pretty often in talks with their partners or new boyfriends. We try to overcome those problems by either introducing our significant others to the friend group as soon as possible, or exclusively date people who also have platonic friends of opposite sexes. Obviously sometimes things go wrong, then we have to explain these people in very toddler-esque way (“Do you have any siblings of opposite sex? You wouldn’t consider that relationship romantic, would you? Yeah it’s that between us.”). Some people don’t buy it, but we’re kinda used to it at this point. But oh well, such is life.

ddmf 3y ago
That sounds really good - I'm almost 50 and amongst my guy pals we still have "lads nights out" and it's very rare for us to go out with partners, unless it's a dinner date thing happening - when I first mentioned I was seeing my pal, I would get some "oh, aye?" looks, but they know it's platonic now. Sounds like it's working for you, hopefully we see more of this as things progress.