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Which is better? 1. “After bringing my date to see the Barbie movie, we picked up a pair of blue Ray Bans at Sunglass Hut and a new top from the Gucci pop up
by cj 3y ago
Which is better?
1. “After bringing my date to see the Barbie movie, we picked up a pair of blue Ray Bans at Sunglass Hut and a new top from the Gucci pop up across the plaza. Kim Kardashian was debuting a new product line.”
2. “After bringing my date to see the year’s blockbuster film, we picked up a blue pair of designer sun glasses at a mall sunglasses kiosk and a new top from a brand name designer pop up across the plaza. A TV celebrity was debuting a new product line.”
#2 would age better since it’s more generic. But I like #1 since the time and place of the scene is more deeply encoded in the story.
- waveBidder 3y agoNot sure I'd want to read about the character either way, sounds like a tool. Maybe in 150 years when this would maybe give insight to the culture of the time.
- kaashif 3y ago#1 reads like a like a line from American Psycho, every line is packed with brand names. Or maybe that's just because I'm reading it right now. I don't think I mention brand names that often in conversation or in thought, the natural place is somewhere in the middle.
- matheusmoreira 3y agoThose are not the only options available to writers. There's any number of things they could do. The most obvious solution is to not describe these products at all. Frankly, they're irrelevant. There's no actual need to describe this extraneous stuff. Conserve detail. Attention is better spent in other areas such as the actual date and the feelings being experienced. 3. “After bringing my date to see a film she really wanted to watch, we picked up a pair of sun glasses at the mall and a new top across the plaza. It was really fun shopping with her. Some celebrity was debuting a new product line and she got really excited about it but all I could think about was how cute she looked.” If you must describe products, invent fictitious brands. Just make them up on the spot. Better than advertising for free.