4 ms·

>I understand your situation can be incredibly stressful, but have you been evaluated by a mental health professional? Yes -- part of the issue was here was th

by clubm8 3y ago

>I understand your situation can be incredibly stressful, but have you been evaluated by a mental health professional? Yes -- part of the issue was here was that the local health care monopoly doesn't really have a vested interest in helping, since the candidate I got elected immediately went through >t might be the case that getting a handle on this, esp. if it comes to a medical intervention, might be a good first step. Also just a note, the mention of "hard drugs"... if you're doing anything w/ THC I would stop that immediately as it can greatly exacerbate symptoms. I've had the opposite experience -- THC helps when alaprazolam (which I had a script for) -- but if you accept a medical card, people start interacting in ways I hadn't encountered since the 90s. I was told I should get a job, avoid my family but... the HN crowd didn't help, so I have days like today where I have too much caffeine and it comes off as much more mentally ill. (I had been told I'd be starting as a dishwasher on Monday. Someone yanked the offer. I'd have preferred to take a xanax or a joint, and instead I ended up pouding tea and reading to wait for the rain to pass... kind of a least worse decision) I actually got the original medical card via a therapist. Again, this is a situation where folks gamify my ability to make good decisions. It's shitty, and extortionary, and makes me less sympathetic when folks spaz out like the tree of life guy did.

drycobbler 3y ago
Call the mental health crisis line, please. You don’t need to stop cannabis because it’s bad or you are bad. Stopping cannabis will help you achieve your goal of a stable living situation with stable employment. Please try it.
- clubm8 3y ago
  I'm not on cannabis? I feel like you're telling me to not use things that help. (I regret not keeping the alaprazolam script, but... when you take that drug, you're set up for twice the anxiety when it wears off) I'm angry and frustrated I'm economically precarious, and have folks like you say "call a crisis line" when I tried that prior -- I was forced to rely on my (abusive) family for support. Do you want to extend help, or be adversarial? I can be adversarial if you prefer that. Or maybe... crazy idea, someone connects me with a recruiter :-)
  - drycobbler 3y ago
    I definitely want to extend help. If your interviewers see that your speech and thoughts are unusual, you won’t get a job. If you get a job, you won’t be able to keep it. If your goal is to get a job and be housed, seeking mental help treatment can help you succeed in that goal.
    - clubm8 3y ago
      >If your goal is to get a job and be housed, seeking mental help treatment can help you succeed in that goal. I have spoken to these places prior -- they did not do as they promised, it's why we replaced the myor. I'd prefer to leave Pittsburgh if folks are going to insist I "get treatment" that consists of... listing off traumas to some woman who bills for speaking to me then goes off to spend it on things I never was able to afford up til our connecting. >I definitely want to extend help. If your interviewers see that your speech and thoughts are unusual, you won’t get a job. I'm on the autisti spectrum, I can do an interview. In fact, I've had people question the autism due to charm. My blood sugar is low, I skipped lunch due to lack of funds and it's raining here so I couldn't walk to the grocer I have a card for. Keep in mind... I'm an edge case. I knew Vilerat. I worked for an EFF board member. I'm a literal dissident. I'm worried folks are confussing... the kinds of anxiety and depression that stem from being bullied out of CDT in 2016 and into a violent home you never were able to escape from... and... the type of mental illness that is present even in happy times. People like say, Richard Baumhaummers(sp?), who shot up the Indian grocer down the road from where I used to get my haircut... he didn't go to Waterfall and have a nice vodka mate. He didn't go to the Louvre. He was all insane, all the time, in a way that wasn't due to drugs or alcohol. I feel like people like you are not listening to me, that I am worried people are not interacting in good faith, and that I'm scared I will not react diplomatically to this pattern continuing.
      - Nextgrid 3y ago
        > I have spoken to these places prior -- they did not do as they promised, it's why we replaced the myor. Sounds like you definitely made a name for yourself and even though the underlying morals of your activism might be good this doesn't lessen the impact on your local community so it might be that you are effectively "persona non grata" there? > I'm on the autisti spectrum, I can do an interview. I second what the parent comment said - your thoughts are indeed unusual based on your writings here. > Keep in mind... I'm an edge case. I knew Vilerat. I worked for an EFF board member. I'm a literal dissident. Don't know who that is, but either way being an edge-case and dissident isn't something to be proud of for someone in your situation. You need to sweep all of this under the carpet and not bring it up ever until you get back on track. Lie and make up a believable backstory if necessary. > People like say, Richard Baumhaummers(sp?), who shot up the Indian grocer down the road from where I used to get my haircut... he didn't go to Waterfall and have a nice vodka mate. He didn't go to the Louvre. > He was all insane, all the time, in a way that wasn't due to drugs or alcohol. > I am worried people are not interacting in good faith, and that I'm scared I will not react diplomatically to this pattern continuing. Bringing these things up is completely irrelevant and weird which would put people off. The last bit especially is unnecessary - what are you hoping to achieve with such a threat? Do you just want people to tell you what you want to hear and reaffirm your misguided thoughts? That might make you feel better but won't help you get off the streets. Based on the above you absolutely have a communication problem (and maybe indeed a mental health problem that you should seek help for) and I think this might be the reason you've basically lost touch with everyone despite name-dropping some pretty famous companies you've been involved with?
brandall10 3y ago
This is hard to follow, even reading between the lines. People can't see inside your head to understand the context behind these thoughts. Communication like this will scare off future employers and social contacts. More the incoherency than the tone of being depressed or negative (which also aren't great, but this is worse). Caffeine does not cause this. If you don't address this your situation will not improve. You must acknowledge something is not right with your mental state - that it is cognitive and not a mood disorder - and focus on getting the help you need. Please speak with a social worker if you feel you've gotten insufficient medical care to this point. I wish you well.

by clubm8 3y ago

drycobbler 3y ago

Call the mental health crisis line, please. You don’t need to stop cannabis because it’s bad or you are bad. Stopping cannabis will help you achieve your goal of a stable living situation with stable employment. Please try it.

clubm8 3y ago
I'm not on cannabis? I feel like you're telling me to not use things that help. (I regret not keeping the alaprazolam script, but... when you take that drug, you're set up for twice the anxiety when it wears off) I'm angry and frustrated I'm economically precarious, and have folks like you say "call a crisis line" when I tried that prior -- I was forced to rely on my (abusive) family for support. Do you want to extend help, or be adversarial? I can be adversarial if you prefer that. Or maybe... crazy idea, someone connects me with a recruiter :-)
- drycobbler 3y ago
  I definitely want to extend help. If your interviewers see that your speech and thoughts are unusual, you won’t get a job. If you get a job, you won’t be able to keep it. If your goal is to get a job and be housed, seeking mental help treatment can help you succeed in that goal.
  - clubm8 3y ago
    >If your goal is to get a job and be housed, seeking mental help treatment can help you succeed in that goal. I have spoken to these places prior -- they did not do as they promised, it's why we replaced the myor. I'd prefer to leave Pittsburgh if folks are going to insist I "get treatment" that consists of... listing off traumas to some woman who bills for speaking to me then goes off to spend it on things I never was able to afford up til our connecting. >I definitely want to extend help. If your interviewers see that your speech and thoughts are unusual, you won’t get a job. I'm on the autisti spectrum, I can do an interview. In fact, I've had people question the autism due to charm. My blood sugar is low, I skipped lunch due to lack of funds and it's raining here so I couldn't walk to the grocer I have a card for. Keep in mind... I'm an edge case. I knew Vilerat. I worked for an EFF board member. I'm a literal dissident. I'm worried folks are confussing... the kinds of anxiety and depression that stem from being bullied out of CDT in 2016 and into a violent home you never were able to escape from... and... the type of mental illness that is present even in happy times. People like say, Richard Baumhaummers(sp?), who shot up the Indian grocer down the road from where I used to get my haircut... he didn't go to Waterfall and have a nice vodka mate. He didn't go to the Louvre. He was all insane, all the time, in a way that wasn't due to drugs or alcohol. I feel like people like you are not listening to me, that I am worried people are not interacting in good faith, and that I'm scared I will not react diplomatically to this pattern continuing.
    - Nextgrid 3y ago
      > I have spoken to these places prior -- they did not do as they promised, it's why we replaced the myor. Sounds like you definitely made a name for yourself and even though the underlying morals of your activism might be good this doesn't lessen the impact on your local community so it might be that you are effectively "persona non grata" there? > I'm on the autisti spectrum, I can do an interview. I second what the parent comment said - your thoughts are indeed unusual based on your writings here. > Keep in mind... I'm an edge case. I knew Vilerat. I worked for an EFF board member. I'm a literal dissident. Don't know who that is, but either way being an edge-case and dissident isn't something to be proud of for someone in your situation. You need to sweep all of this under the carpet and not bring it up ever until you get back on track. Lie and make up a believable backstory if necessary. > People like say, Richard Baumhaummers(sp?), who shot up the Indian grocer down the road from where I used to get my haircut... he didn't go to Waterfall and have a nice vodka mate. He didn't go to the Louvre. > He was all insane, all the time, in a way that wasn't due to drugs or alcohol. > I am worried people are not interacting in good faith, and that I'm scared I will not react diplomatically to this pattern continuing. Bringing these things up is completely irrelevant and weird which would put people off. The last bit especially is unnecessary - what are you hoping to achieve with such a threat? Do you just want people to tell you what you want to hear and reaffirm your misguided thoughts? That might make you feel better but won't help you get off the streets. Based on the above you absolutely have a communication problem (and maybe indeed a mental health problem that you should seek help for) and I think this might be the reason you've basically lost touch with everyone despite name-dropping some pretty famous companies you've been involved with?

brandall10 3y ago

This is hard to follow, even reading between the lines. People can't see inside your head to understand the context behind these thoughts. Communication like this will scare off future employers and social contacts. More the incoherency than the tone of being depressed or negative (which also aren't great, but this is worse). Caffeine does not cause this. If you don't address this your situation will not improve. You must acknowledge something is not right with your mental state - that it is cognitive and not a mood disorder - and focus on getting the help you need. Please speak with a social worker if you feel you've gotten insufficient medical care to this point. I wish you well.