> I'm currently in a hotel that lacks basic anemities like a functioning shower, paid monthly by family How does a hotel not have a shower? You sound depresse

> I'm currently in a hotel that lacks basic anemities like a functioning shower, paid monthly by family How does a hotel not have a shower? You sound depressed and you need to get numb and stoic and practical and focus on survival. Be grateful for minor successes and when people help you but dont indulge in all these negative emotions your expressing in your post...they are delusional. All that matters to you right now is your practical day to day survival. You will need to find a free shower. In the past I've used gym showers, shelter showers, beach showers, campground showers, marina showers, university gym showers, friends showers, etc. Call around and see if you can find a shower. Alot of times places like the YMCA or community center's or homeless shelters have sliding scale memberships. You have to call and explain your situation and see if you can het a free membership. Many times if they cant help they can guide you to someone who does. You need food. Look around for soup kitchens, food banks, church food lines, apply for food stamps. Most cities in America and I imagine Europe is similar..have a place you can go and apply for government social safety net services like food stamps, medical care, job search support... and they will give you a caseworker who can guide you through social safety net options your region offers. Overall I need to emphasize...you need to remain stoic and practical all of these depressed thoughts youre posting are wrong and will destroy what limited confidence you have.