3 ms·

I never felt disabled until I got a significant other who wasn't as familiar with my ADHD symptoms. When we get up to go do an errand I tend to execute my todo

I never felt disabled until I got a significant other who wasn't as familiar with my ADHD symptoms. When we get up to go do an errand I tend to execute my todo list very quickly thinking I will lose the opportunity. I'll do dishes, put in laundry, clear away trash, send emails, pay bills, schedule appointments, etc. All the things I should have been doing in the hours before we do the errand. It's become very clear to me how much this frustrates my partner while they're waiting for me by the door to get this stuff done. They can't get me out of the house sooner because I'll just say "just one more minute!" and "almost done..." over and over. I work from home, so my partner will get frustrated if I work past the end of my day. Computers/technology is the one area I can focus very well, so I might dig into something interesting for hours. Except then I've infringed on the time we have to be together (my partner). When I was living with family they were used to this stuff, and just let me be if I was obsessed with something. They let me satisfy those last-minute compulsions where I procrastinated and was unable to execute on my todo list earlier. etc etc. I thought I had light ADHD but it effects my relationship, friends, and work responsibilities so much. I hate that I do everything at the last minute, with only a suitable stress to make my thoughts order themselves. And it appears entirely un-ordered when I'm doing x-y-z quickly. Why couldn't I do it all earlier?

btilly 3y ago
I developed the habit of doing those things when I walk in the door, not when I walk out. This also frustrates my wife, but I think less so than it would be to have the signal being an errand I'm already late for.
- throwaway914 3y ago
  When I lived with family it felt normal. My family actually lied about my symptoms on a medical survey because my mom thought if I was diagnosed with AD?D I'd be unemployable somehow, like employers could get that in a background check? Getting around other people made it more obvious I had some issues. Like, my partner and I will go on walks and they'll get annoyed if I point out an interesting animal or thing I'm seeing if they're in the middle of a topic. At work I always set reminders on my phone, sent emails to myself, and left stickies on my desktop. My supervisor pointed out he'd never seen someone do that as much as I do, and started requiring me to show up with a notepad in meetings. He'd tell me to do 2 things, and then have to ask me what the first thing I told him was as I left - then the notepad became necessary. I worked to get onto an employee advocacy group at work and we do a lot of writing to identify systemic issues and propose solutions. I had 2 months to create a paper covering issues with hiring and on the last day - after I turned in the paper - I hit reply-all to add an additional thing that was critically important. Something I knew was an issue before I started the paper. For 2 months it was completely gone from my head. So I have whiteboards around my room, and I'm trying to move to using digital whiteboards to remember these things and organize them so I can even keep my supervisor and coworkers in the loop. "This is my MS Team Whiteboard for Monday stuff, buwhahaha" I just remember being 25 and feeling like this didn't affect me so much. It still feels like I'm joking when I talk about it. ADD /sounds/ like a non-serious condition. But all these relationships have suffered because I'm forgetful and disorganized, and people are tired of my excuses. :-( I felt normal before. 2 days ago I had a big argument because my partner says I should be taking my medication. I usually don't take it on the weekends, because I shouldn't need to "focus" then, right? I hate that the meds for ADD are addictive, and sometimes it works when I need it - other times it kicks in a day later and it feels like a double-dose. That scares me.

btilly 3y ago

I developed the habit of doing those things when I walk in the door, not when I walk out. This also frustrates my wife, but I think less so than it would be to have the signal being an errand I'm already late for.

throwaway914 3y ago
When I lived with family it felt normal. My family actually lied about my symptoms on a medical survey because my mom thought if I was diagnosed with AD?D I'd be unemployable somehow, like employers could get that in a background check? Getting around other people made it more obvious I had some issues. Like, my partner and I will go on walks and they'll get annoyed if I point out an interesting animal or thing I'm seeing if they're in the middle of a topic. At work I always set reminders on my phone, sent emails to myself, and left stickies on my desktop. My supervisor pointed out he'd never seen someone do that as much as I do, and started requiring me to show up with a notepad in meetings. He'd tell me to do 2 things, and then have to ask me what the first thing I told him was as I left - then the notepad became necessary. I worked to get onto an employee advocacy group at work and we do a lot of writing to identify systemic issues and propose solutions. I had 2 months to create a paper covering issues with hiring and on the last day - after I turned in the paper - I hit reply-all to add an additional thing that was critically important. Something I knew was an issue before I started the paper. For 2 months it was completely gone from my head. So I have whiteboards around my room, and I'm trying to move to using digital whiteboards to remember these things and organize them so I can even keep my supervisor and coworkers in the loop. "This is my MS Team Whiteboard for Monday stuff, buwhahaha" I just remember being 25 and feeling like this didn't affect me so much. It still feels like I'm joking when I talk about it. ADD /sounds/ like a non-serious condition. But all these relationships have suffered because I'm forgetful and disorganized, and people are tired of my excuses. :-( I felt normal before. 2 days ago I had a big argument because my partner says I should be taking my medication. I usually don't take it on the weekends, because I shouldn't need to "focus" then, right? I hate that the meds for ADD are addictive, and sometimes it works when I need it - other times it kicks in a day later and it feels like a double-dose. That scares me.