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Or just give up on privacy in the sense you mean. Ultimately we’re all living in meatspace. I was happier when I just accepted it. I’ve been on both sides of th

Or just give up on privacy in the sense you mean. Ultimately we’re all living in meatspace. I was happier when I just accepted it. I’ve been on both sides of the privacy fence — when I was in my 20s I cared deeply about not being known, as you say. But it was self destructive, and I’ve seen many people who end up as reclusive as I was. It’s fine to have privacy. And it’s necessary. But obsessing about it too much can really get to you, in a way that’s sort of hard to articulate. If someone knows the city you live in, is that really a big deal? Now, there is the flip side of this. I recognize this is a privileged position to have. Some people’s lives have been ruined due to harassment of their physical location, and I am fortunate not to have to worry. It’s particularly easy for me to say this as a man, since women have a very different threat model. But as with all things, it’s a balance. The cold truth is that technology will only accelerate the trends that first Facebook and now Clearview are exploiting. Just be happy and live a nice life. I hid too long.

denton-scratch 3y ago
> But it was self destructive, and I’ve seen many people who end up as reclusive as I was. I won't give up; but I no longer freak out about it. I am reclusive, apparently; at least, some friends have said so. I'm certainly not a misanthrope; I like people, and in general I trust them. But I don't trust "social media", in the Faceache/Twitter/X sense, and I've never had an account with those services. I have a couple of online accounts, and HN is one of them. I've had one or two online-dating accounts, which I regret. If I try dating again, I'll do it organically, by joining some local interest group. Being a "recluse" doesn't mean being some kind of hillbilly, who lives in the back of beyond, and answers the door with a loaded shotgun; it just means that you aren't desperate for friends.
- halfcat 3y ago
  I’ve noticed this about myself as I’ve aged, starting at one extreme, overcompensating reaction to the other extreme, and finally settling somewhere in the middle that I’m content with. Beliefs about religion, politics, family, privacy, hobbies, nutrition, science, and probably a lot more I can’t think of. The reactionary overcompensation phase, in hindsight, does always seem very “warn everyone” focused, before finally having that moment where it clicks that it’s neither extreme, and that the middle is also okay.
spacephysics 3y ago
Agreed, I’m in a similar boat. Really it’s out of our control how privacy-invasive laws/tech progress. Yes we can vote against them, and should, but they’ll find a patriot-act to shove something we voted against previously in. And at that point, to me, better to practice stoicism and accept you cannot control things you cannot control, and thereby not worry about those things. Same with AI. Yes, learn the tools to stay ahead. But pushing to stop it is a fool’s errand. “Best” case we make it so only the corporate few are allowed to make sophisticated AI, “worst” case everyone with ability has their own model, and it pervades society. Find the things you love, surround yourself with friends and family, and live life. They can’t realistically stop you from stepping away from a screen and enjoying a fire side chat with your mates.

denton-scratch 3y ago

> But it was self destructive, and I’ve seen many people who end up as reclusive as I was. I won't give up; but I no longer freak out about it. I am reclusive, apparently; at least, some friends have said so. I'm certainly not a misanthrope; I like people, and in general I trust them. But I don't trust "social media", in the Faceache/Twitter/X sense, and I've never had an account with those services. I have a couple of online accounts, and HN is one of them. I've had one or two online-dating accounts, which I regret. If I try dating again, I'll do it organically, by joining some local interest group. Being a "recluse" doesn't mean being some kind of hillbilly, who lives in the back of beyond, and answers the door with a loaded shotgun; it just means that you aren't desperate for friends.

halfcat 3y ago
I’ve noticed this about myself as I’ve aged, starting at one extreme, overcompensating reaction to the other extreme, and finally settling somewhere in the middle that I’m content with. Beliefs about religion, politics, family, privacy, hobbies, nutrition, science, and probably a lot more I can’t think of. The reactionary overcompensation phase, in hindsight, does always seem very “warn everyone” focused, before finally having that moment where it clicks that it’s neither extreme, and that the middle is also okay.

spacephysics 3y ago

Agreed, I’m in a similar boat. Really it’s out of our control how privacy-invasive laws/tech progress. Yes we can vote against them, and should, but they’ll find a patriot-act to shove something we voted against previously in. And at that point, to me, better to practice stoicism and accept you cannot control things you cannot control, and thereby not worry about those things. Same with AI. Yes, learn the tools to stay ahead. But pushing to stop it is a fool’s errand. “Best” case we make it so only the corporate few are allowed to make sophisticated AI, “worst” case everyone with ability has their own model, and it pervades society. Find the things you love, surround yourself with friends and family, and live life. They can’t realistically stop you from stepping away from a screen and enjoying a fire side chat with your mates.