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Well, you don't _have_ to give a tip even if prompted. Part of the struggle here is learning to ignore any internal shaming mechanism for valid conditions where
by aksss 3y ago
Well, you don't _have_ to give a tip even if prompted. Part of the struggle here is learning to ignore any internal shaming mechanism for valid conditions where no tip is warranted - specifically, taking a product off a shelf and charging you money for it. There is no circumstance where I'm tipping in a retail environment, specifically basic shopping activities. I'm starting to wean myself off of pandemic-era tipping for take-out orders (I tip 10% for to-go now).
Part of the whole donation industry and now tipping-everywhere practice is just basic money-harvesting, like putting a net in the river and seeing what they can harvest from randos at scale. But there is some interest-balancing that needs to be considered, specifically my need to not hemorrhage money. At some level the expectation gets kind of insulting. Checking out at a grocery store? Want to round up to donate to some non-audited cause you never heard of that has a plausibly good name? Wassamatta? You hate kids/puppies/poor/refugees/war victims/elderly???? No, I hate being taken advantage of and hate my kindness being leveraged, GTFO.
- kstrauser 3y agoI'm with you on every bit of that. I'm good about turning that potential internal shaming into annoyance with the employer. For me, that means that every ridiculous request for tips gives me a bad feeling about the business, either shame for being pushed into tipping, or frustration that I had to spend emotional effort to avoid it. Either way, it leaves me with a bad feeling about the place, and makes me less likely to go back.
- radicality 3y agoWhen you say “10% for to-go”, is that for delivery or when you’re yourself picking up food to go? If it’s just picking up food to go, why tip at all, hasn’t pretty much zero service been provided to you?
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- aksss 3y agoPicking up, I tip excessively for delivery, and honestly it's because I've been both a delivery driver and standing at the ovens, so it's purely a personal sort of nostalgic solidarity/empathy/love to send some joy their way in the form of cash. I know I appreciated it back in the day and was very grateful for it. I don't have any love or respect for the social glare or tip shaming, however. It's gotten out of hand.
- kstrauser 3y agoSame for me. I take care of delivery drivers. And for the non-altruistic payoff, I get my pizza fast. When I delivered pizza, we all knew who the good tippers were and would scramble to grab those tickets. I’ve paid my way to be on that list now.
- yieldcrv 3y agoIt’s not just internal, it’s external shaming from everyone around you especially the person you want to have sex (or build a life) with