4 ms·

We're all lurkers now: No one's talking online anymore

25 points by yarapavan 3y ago

yarapavan 3y ago
We're all lurkers now. Our outward-facing posts are getting less engagement & we’re less inclined to share them. We’re growing silent, lurking, sitting in these digital rooms out of habit & not because we really want to be there
- PaulHoule 3y ago
  One trend I have noticed on X and similar platforms (Mastodon) is that a lot of people really don't seem to like comments on their threads. It didn't seem like this when I was on Twitter before 2017 but today it seems widespread. Some of it is that people have gotten in the habit of replying to themselves in long threads which doesn't really work right with the user interface on any of these sites under any conditions, but certainly not when somebody replies to what the OP thinks is the wrong toot. And then some people just get pissed that somebody made a reply that didn't mirror them 100% and they post some image with angry text and the caption "... would you believe somebody posted this lame-ass reply within 15 minutes of my post?" (Don't most replies come pretty quickly?) All these sites could use a dramatically better UI for showing the reply tree of a post but I think people have gotten downright nasty.
  - loa_in_ 3y ago
    I think you're seeing the result of people who would otherwise be engaged in such interaction to move away to discussions over video or discussions in smaller community chatrooms/niche forums. Common complaint is excessive ads and brand presence and need for privacy in communication because of the extent of data mining. Why would you discuss something in a public Twitter thread when you can link to it and discuss it elsewhere? People are drawn to human connection and the public spaces don't provide it anymore.
    - jhobag 3y ago
      Instagram's CEO actually talks about this movement from public engagement to private groups, stories/dms in a podcast, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHIsVfdqg74 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHIsVfdqg74 Very noticeable trend as after the explosion of IG around 2017, a lot of convos went to from fb messenger to ig group/telegram/discord/signal and obviously whatsapp Personally seeing posting to the main feed as being too extra, usually someone trying to sell something, instagram being too full of ads/irrelevant info or bait at the worst... which I guess you could say is the same for most of the big public websites
jononomo 3y ago
I have definitely stopped posting and commenting on social media. It just seems like no one really cares what you have to say anyway. I still scroll a bit, though.
- squigz 3y ago
  - said jononomo on a social media site
gdulli 3y ago
Deleting my Twitter and Reddit accounts led to me being less of that kind of online, which is a good thing. I still lurk around a little but don't have any attachment to it. It's such a lack of imagination that the conversation always comes back to asking what's going to be the replacement for these sites. Why not move on? Both had already become unenjoyable even before their respective pivots to overt hostility to users this year.
- 73844739 3y ago
  I'm always surprised people still talk about social media in terms of replacement tbh. Usually I take it as a sign someone either wasn't very engaged with a specific platform or that they just aren't that in tune with the mainstream in general. People lurk because they realize that's the actual experience they cared about. I know lots of people on Twitter/X but most don't tweet or even share their account because it's mainly a curated feed for them. Reddit is similar, it's a web forum replacement and if you're someone who likes interacting on forums still then great but for the most part the appeal is parsing the dialogue not contributing to it (or else they'd be somewhere like Discord talking to people they share any amount of greater social proximity to). I can see the appeal of writing off the platforms as dying or suffering because they failed in some fashion but imo it's mostly that as more social media platforms emerge and go mainstream the things they did well to achieve that mainstream appeal become elements of old platforms that people stop using but they still turn to the older platforms for the parts of the experience that haven't been replaced. Twitter and Reddit still lack good replacements for their niches (in the real way, not the "good enough" or "if more people used this competitor" way).
deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
LoganDark 3y ago
I talk online. In private, through DMs. I mostly use public posts to make new friends, which I then exclusively speak to privately.
winternett 3y ago
Social media punishes you with useless in app notifications when you comment on TikTok, they also flood you with the user's posts if you click like. Apps like Instagram have created faulty DM filters that make messages go unnoticed in spam boxes for years as well. The UI on gmail and hotmail are intentionally hobbled to encourage paid subscriptions... It's not our fault at all we don't communicate... Apps keep us all separate because they don't want us to communicate our dissatisfaction and share info on our experiences about them with each other. Tons of users automate accounts, posts, and even live streams, so it's impossible to tell which accounts are real, as platforms do nothing to stop impersonators and spam accounts. The Internet is no longer live nor real time, everything is also moderated and filtered by QC. Platforms censor complaints and anything they deem negative about them, people have been conditioned to say nothing because of that. Even reddit burries private messaging on it's site, I don't want to install yet another clunky and limited app. As so called "social media" tools, they really discourage social behavior and encourage ads and really impersonal promotion of products. It's the platforms, not the users that got us here.
tuatoru 3y ago
All the actual talking has shattered into a million tiny droplets, sparkling unseen, and evaporating into the morning air... Also: "only paid subscribers can comment on this post". It's not even ironic.
simne 3y ago
Must admit, social networks are greatest disappoint. For me most shocking was, when I talked within scientific groups and release, they have too low IQ to understand science. Looks like, internet suffer from too much political correctness, when you prohibited to say fool is fool.
paradox460 3y ago
Used to be you'd say something online, and get an interesting conversation. Sure, there were always trolls, but they were noise to the signal Now you say something and get half a dozen assholes assuming the absolute worst interpretation of your comment in the replies, all furious at you for your perceived slight against them. It's exhausting and has a chilling effect
- hnfong 3y ago
  So you are saying I’m an asshole now? .v. (sorry couldn’t resist :P)
  - paradox460 3y ago
    Duh. If you have to ask them you're the asshole /s

25 points by yarapavan 3y ago

We're all lurkers now. Our outward-facing posts are getting less engagement & we’re less inclined to share them. We’re growing silent, lurking, sitting in these digital rooms out of habit & not because we really want to be there

PaulHoule 3y ago
One trend I have noticed on X and similar platforms (Mastodon) is that a lot of people really don't seem to like comments on their threads. It didn't seem like this when I was on Twitter before 2017 but today it seems widespread. Some of it is that people have gotten in the habit of replying to themselves in long threads which doesn't really work right with the user interface on any of these sites under any conditions, but certainly not when somebody replies to what the OP thinks is the wrong toot. And then some people just get pissed that somebody made a reply that didn't mirror them 100% and they post some image with angry text and the caption "... would you believe somebody posted this lame-ass reply within 15 minutes of my post?" (Don't most replies come pretty quickly?) All these sites could use a dramatically better UI for showing the reply tree of a post but I think people have gotten downright nasty.
- loa_in_ 3y ago
  I think you're seeing the result of people who would otherwise be engaged in such interaction to move away to discussions over video or discussions in smaller community chatrooms/niche forums. Common complaint is excessive ads and brand presence and need for privacy in communication because of the extent of data mining. Why would you discuss something in a public Twitter thread when you can link to it and discuss it elsewhere? People are drawn to human connection and the public spaces don't provide it anymore.
  - jhobag 3y ago
    Instagram's CEO actually talks about this movement from public engagement to private groups, stories/dms in a podcast, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHIsVfdqg74 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHIsVfdqg74 Very noticeable trend as after the explosion of IG around 2017, a lot of convos went to from fb messenger to ig group/telegram/discord/signal and obviously whatsapp Personally seeing posting to the main feed as being too extra, usually someone trying to sell something, instagram being too full of ads/irrelevant info or bait at the worst... which I guess you could say is the same for most of the big public websites

jononomo 3y ago

I have definitely stopped posting and commenting on social media. It just seems like no one really cares what you have to say anyway. I still scroll a bit, though.

squigz 3y ago
- said jononomo on a social media site

gdulli 3y ago

Deleting my Twitter and Reddit accounts led to me being less of that kind of online, which is a good thing. I still lurk around a little but don't have any attachment to it. It's such a lack of imagination that the conversation always comes back to asking what's going to be the replacement for these sites. Why not move on? Both had already become unenjoyable even before their respective pivots to overt hostility to users this year.

73844739 3y ago
I'm always surprised people still talk about social media in terms of replacement tbh. Usually I take it as a sign someone either wasn't very engaged with a specific platform or that they just aren't that in tune with the mainstream in general. People lurk because they realize that's the actual experience they cared about. I know lots of people on Twitter/X but most don't tweet or even share their account because it's mainly a curated feed for them. Reddit is similar, it's a web forum replacement and if you're someone who likes interacting on forums still then great but for the most part the appeal is parsing the dialogue not contributing to it (or else they'd be somewhere like Discord talking to people they share any amount of greater social proximity to). I can see the appeal of writing off the platforms as dying or suffering because they failed in some fashion but imo it's mostly that as more social media platforms emerge and go mainstream the things they did well to achieve that mainstream appeal become elements of old platforms that people stop using but they still turn to the older platforms for the parts of the experience that haven't been replaced. Twitter and Reddit still lack good replacements for their niches (in the real way, not the "good enough" or "if more people used this competitor" way).

deleted 3y ago

[deleted]

LoganDark 3y ago

I talk online. In private, through DMs. I mostly use public posts to make new friends, which I then exclusively speak to privately.

winternett 3y ago

Social media punishes you with useless in app notifications when you comment on TikTok, they also flood you with the user's posts if you click like. Apps like Instagram have created faulty DM filters that make messages go unnoticed in spam boxes for years as well. The UI on gmail and hotmail are intentionally hobbled to encourage paid subscriptions... It's not our fault at all we don't communicate... Apps keep us all separate because they don't want us to communicate our dissatisfaction and share info on our experiences about them with each other. Tons of users automate accounts, posts, and even live streams, so it's impossible to tell which accounts are real, as platforms do nothing to stop impersonators and spam accounts. The Internet is no longer live nor real time, everything is also moderated and filtered by QC. Platforms censor complaints and anything they deem negative about them, people have been conditioned to say nothing because of that. Even reddit burries private messaging on it's site, I don't want to install yet another clunky and limited app. As so called "social media" tools, they really discourage social behavior and encourage ads and really impersonal promotion of products. It's the platforms, not the users that got us here.

tuatoru 3y ago

All the actual talking has shattered into a million tiny droplets, sparkling unseen, and evaporating into the morning air... Also: "only paid subscribers can comment on this post". It's not even ironic.

simne 3y ago

Must admit, social networks are greatest disappoint. For me most shocking was, when I talked within scientific groups and release, they have too low IQ to understand science. Looks like, internet suffer from too much political correctness, when you prohibited to say fool is fool.

paradox460 3y ago

Used to be you'd say something online, and get an interesting conversation. Sure, there were always trolls, but they were noise to the signal Now you say something and get half a dozen assholes assuming the absolute worst interpretation of your comment in the replies, all furious at you for your perceived slight against them. It's exhausting and has a chilling effect

hnfong 3y ago
So you are saying I’m an asshole now? .v. (sorry couldn’t resist :P)
- paradox460 3y ago
  Duh. If you have to ask them you're the asshole /s