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You call it pattern recognition, I call it excuses. Setting high expectations for yourself is crucial to achieving them. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygma

• ChrisNorstrom 15y ago
  Yes you're right it's partly an excuse (40%) but also a way (60%) for me to try and find the reasons for why I and others in my family have failed so I can change myself and stop making the same mistakes. I have a problem with your advice. I already had and still have high expectations for myself, my family does too. That's not working. The problem with my dreams, ideas, and goals is that they are coming from me. I am the flawed one and I need to change.
  • shazow 15y ago
    Fair enough, here's another piece of advice: Surround yourself with people who are better than you, especially the types of people you'd like to become more like. Conversely, avoid people who are averse to the change you're experiencing and drag you down from becoming the person you want to be. You spoke of male friends who are failures—those are the people you want to avoid. Start hanging out a lot more with your successful female friends, find mentors who will help guide you to improvement, get a job where you feel like the stupidest person in the room. This goes back to setting high expectations for yourself. You're not the only variable.