4 ms·

Ask HN: What advice would you have given your younger 20-year-old self?

12 points by i5heu 3y ago

msvana 3y ago
You are capable of dealing with most bad events. Very few situations are truly life-ruining.
Pinegulf 3y ago
Try different things. You never know what you end up liking.
pella 3y ago
related: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37759873 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37759873
efortis 3y ago
Don’t complicate things
- farseer 3y ago
  Unless absolute necessary
GianFabien 3y ago
Stop trying to impress others, especially attractive potential future partners. Being focused on building a career and the consequent hedonic treadmill is a trap you will regret.
CM30 3y ago
Having friends/a good network is a lot more important than academic success. Both for personal fulfilment and for getting a job in future. Also that becoming a YouTube/Twitch creator is easiest when in university/before you have a full time job with bills to pay, and that you should probably take advantage of that. I kinda regret being so focused on writing rather than creating videos to be honest...
- beardyw 3y ago
  Yes, I was going to say put work into friendships. After very many years it's a habit I regret I did not gain.
theGeatZhopa 3y ago
get rid of the people who slow you down because they just are! don't talk to stranger idiots. They'll pull you down to their level and beat you by experience. *don't expect something from others. Do it yourself.
- Pinegulf 3y ago
  To add to this: Don't waste your time trying to convincing idiots on internet. (But listen broadly and keep the good and discard the bad.)
denizhdz 3y ago
Don't think, just build.
kingkongjaffa 3y ago
Personally I would say to my 20 year old self, (I'm about to turn 30): Write more code, lean into it, don't avoid it. (I have a masters in mechanical engineering, but I ended up writing code anyway in a tech company.) Do more public speaking. (I still get unreasonably anxious about this and I feel like I suck at it) Stick to hobbies and exercise (I'm a perpetual beginner in several things, I am not consistent at practicing guitar, or at rock climbing, two things I love and would like to be better at. It's generally more enjoyable to be somewhat decent at things.) Read more books (and make 1 in 10 of those a fiction book, I read too much non-fiction business/technical/startup books) Do more online courses (It took me ages to finally get around to doing things, I completed CS50x and some FreeCodeCamp stuff and I enjoyed it a learned a lot.)
quickthrower2 3y ago
Go travel. But… you don’t really like backpacking, always moving and 6am starts and getting drunk like all the other travellers, and meeting people is hard so instead travel as a geek: find tech conferences to go to, meet other nerds. Rip up those Lonely Planet books and just ask for recommendations (special experiences that need to be booked excepted!) I would probably do more chill holidays like yoga retreats. Live in a big city too. Too many small minded people otherwise. Sorry HNers excepted! More than all of that: dump toxic relationships super fast: you know somethings up just jettison that shit. Only exception is your kids. No one else gets unconditional! Change phone numbers if you have to, etc.
mikecoles 3y ago
"Have at it. You'll screw up. It's life. Live simply and you'll be fine."
laurent_du 3y ago
Go to the gym.
mikewarot 3y ago
There's no way I would have been able to get through to him... he was convinced that the world was against him, personally.
VoodooJuJu 3y ago
Try not being born into the working class next time. And if you're born middle or higher, pursue the arts - that's what your 20s are for.
screwturner68 3y ago
Don't date that cute blond from the bar, she's crazy. Let people help you.
- Natfan 3y ago
  Sorry to be a pedant, but if she's uses female pronouns, then it's "blonde" not "blond"
  - screwturner68 3y ago
    yep.sticky e key...and my typing leaves something to be desired.
stefanos82 3y ago
I would advice me the following: "You are about to finish your army duties any day now...take your time, don't rush yourself for work or university, go find a job, preferably in craft category, and take a taste what society is all about. After your clear your mind, take your time to decide where you want to direct your attention...and please, stay away from relationships; it does not work for you, no matter how hard you try! Now, off you go, enjoy life!"
seanthemon 3y ago
Take it easy, take everything slower, enjoy the process and send dad to the hospital after the first stroke no matter how much he fights.
marssaxman 3y ago
None that he would accept, I don't think; he was not much for listening to anyone's advice, and the deep disappointment he would certainly feel about the path my life has taken would probably motivate him to do the opposite of whatever I suggested.
simne 3y ago
Run out from exUSSR, to West, as fast as possible. And as far as possible. You will not prove anything to others. Soon you will just trying to survive.
Spooky23 3y ago
- Marry that girl sooner. - Think bigger. - Don’t over-save. - Don’t worry about what people think. - Be better to people.
atleastoptimal 3y ago
Don't spend 90% of your time alone in your room doing nothing. Don't assume you have infinite time to do whatever you want at some point. You will never be more free than you are right now, so spend that time doing whatever you can to make your mark on the world and maximize every part of you possible, even if its tough. You will feel far better than following your instinct to take it easy.
undopamine 3y ago
- Be here, now. - Practice enjoying the process itself. Forget the outcome for a while. - Practice non-reaction. Just observe. - It's better to do nothing than squeezing in a quick task in that 15 min break.

12 points by i5heu 3y ago

msvana 3y ago

You are capable of dealing with most bad events. Very few situations are truly life-ruining.

Pinegulf 3y ago

Try different things. You never know what you end up liking.

pella 3y ago

related: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37759873 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37759873

efortis 3y ago

Don’t complicate things

farseer 3y ago
Unless absolute necessary

GianFabien 3y ago

Stop trying to impress others, especially attractive potential future partners. Being focused on building a career and the consequent hedonic treadmill is a trap you will regret.

CM30 3y ago

Having friends/a good network is a lot more important than academic success. Both for personal fulfilment and for getting a job in future. Also that becoming a YouTube/Twitch creator is easiest when in university/before you have a full time job with bills to pay, and that you should probably take advantage of that. I kinda regret being so focused on writing rather than creating videos to be honest...

beardyw 3y ago
Yes, I was going to say put work into friendships. After very many years it's a habit I regret I did not gain.

theGeatZhopa 3y ago

get rid of the people who slow you down because they just are! don't talk to stranger idiots. They'll pull you down to their level and beat you by experience. *don't expect something from others. Do it yourself.

Pinegulf 3y ago
To add to this: Don't waste your time trying to convincing idiots on internet. (But listen broadly and keep the good and discard the bad.)

denizhdz 3y ago

Don't think, just build.

kingkongjaffa 3y ago

Personally I would say to my 20 year old self, (I'm about to turn 30): Write more code, lean into it, don't avoid it. (I have a masters in mechanical engineering, but I ended up writing code anyway in a tech company.) Do more public speaking. (I still get unreasonably anxious about this and I feel like I suck at it) Stick to hobbies and exercise (I'm a perpetual beginner in several things, I am not consistent at practicing guitar, or at rock climbing, two things I love and would like to be better at. It's generally more enjoyable to be somewhat decent at things.) Read more books (and make 1 in 10 of those a fiction book, I read too much non-fiction business/technical/startup books) Do more online courses (It took me ages to finally get around to doing things, I completed CS50x and some FreeCodeCamp stuff and I enjoyed it a learned a lot.)

quickthrower2 3y ago

Go travel. But… you don’t really like backpacking, always moving and 6am starts and getting drunk like all the other travellers, and meeting people is hard so instead travel as a geek: find tech conferences to go to, meet other nerds. Rip up those Lonely Planet books and just ask for recommendations (special experiences that need to be booked excepted!) I would probably do more chill holidays like yoga retreats. Live in a big city too. Too many small minded people otherwise. Sorry HNers excepted! More than all of that: dump toxic relationships super fast: you know somethings up just jettison that shit. Only exception is your kids. No one else gets unconditional! Change phone numbers if you have to, etc.

mikecoles 3y ago

"Have at it. You'll screw up. It's life. Live simply and you'll be fine."

laurent_du 3y ago

Go to the gym.

mikewarot 3y ago

There's no way I would have been able to get through to him... he was convinced that the world was against him, personally.

VoodooJuJu 3y ago

Try not being born into the working class next time. And if you're born middle or higher, pursue the arts - that's what your 20s are for.

screwturner68 3y ago

Don't date that cute blond from the bar, she's crazy. Let people help you.

Natfan 3y ago
Sorry to be a pedant, but if she's uses female pronouns, then it's "blonde" not "blond"
- screwturner68 3y ago
  yep.sticky e key...and my typing leaves something to be desired.

stefanos82 3y ago

I would advice me the following: "You are about to finish your army duties any day now...take your time, don't rush yourself for work or university, go find a job, preferably in craft category, and take a taste what society is all about. After your clear your mind, take your time to decide where you want to direct your attention...and please, stay away from relationships; it does not work for you, no matter how hard you try! Now, off you go, enjoy life!"

seanthemon 3y ago

Take it easy, take everything slower, enjoy the process and send dad to the hospital after the first stroke no matter how much he fights.

marssaxman 3y ago

None that he would accept, I don't think; he was not much for listening to anyone's advice, and the deep disappointment he would certainly feel about the path my life has taken would probably motivate him to do the opposite of whatever I suggested.

simne 3y ago

Run out from exUSSR, to West, as fast as possible. And as far as possible. You will not prove anything to others. Soon you will just trying to survive.

Spooky23 3y ago

- Marry that girl sooner. - Think bigger. - Don’t over-save. - Don’t worry about what people think. - Be better to people.

atleastoptimal 3y ago

Don't spend 90% of your time alone in your room doing nothing. Don't assume you have infinite time to do whatever you want at some point. You will never be more free than you are right now, so spend that time doing whatever you can to make your mark on the world and maximize every part of you possible, even if its tough. You will feel far better than following your instinct to take it easy.

undopamine 3y ago

- Be here, now. - Practice enjoying the process itself. Forget the outcome for a while. - Practice non-reaction. Just observe. - It's better to do nothing than squeezing in a quick task in that 15 min break.