3 ms·

The way I read the article, "live near your friends" means "within 10 minute walk of them", not "20 minute drive". I live 5 minutes walk away from a very close

by kredd 3y ago

The way I read the article, "live near your friends" means "within 10 minute walk of them", not "20 minute drive". I live 5 minutes walk away from a very close friend of mine, and 10-20 mins from some others. With the closest one, "hey, have you had dinner?" text turns into "cool, same spot, i'll see you in 10 minutes?" at least once a week. That's on top of planned long-term activities. I understand I am very privileged, but we actually made effort to live near each other. Well, it definitely helps that it's a dense neighbourhood of an actual city and not a suburb. It's hard to plan it out, but worth it.

slothtrop 3y ago
As a parent I foresaw that I would make acquaintances with others who go to the park, or live on the street. So far we exchange polite pleasantries but there's just nothing beyond that. It should be unsurprising, the prospect of any change in routine is more uncomfortable and daunting when you're a busy parent, and friendship invites more overhead. There are friends I made after moving to a city that I barely want to see now, mostly because there wasn't enough in common in the first place. Strategy wise if you're unattached and have free time, making commutes to events and planned activities is still a more effective way to make friends.
- kredd 3y ago
  You’re probably right, since both of my siblings with children have said the same. That being said, it’s more about “living close to your existing friends” rather than “how to make friends in your area”. The latter deserves its own discussion too, as I think it’s not that easy.
- SoftTalker 3y ago
  Friendships are overhead. If you don't make regular effort to cultivate them, they wither and die. That takes time, and involves tradeoffs or impositions on other things you might want or need to do. The question is whether the benefits are worth it.
  - slothtrop 3y ago
    Hence why less is more. You can have strong bonds with select few friends, but this can be lonelier if social time is limited, as it can be in adulthood.
tessierashpool 3y ago
The way I read the article, "live near your friends" means "within 10 minute walk of them", not "20 minute drive". I live 5 minutes walk away from a very close friend of mine apologies for being pedantic, but the article literally starts off with a screenshot of the Live Near Friends app which shows that you're doing it exactly right in their terms, because they're talking about living a 5-minute walk away. likewise, that's the goal of the app: This August, Levin launched Live Near Friends, a site that helps people live within a five-minute walk of a close friend or family member.
- ryandrake 3y ago
  A 5 minute walk is only about 500 meters. I don't understand how that's even possible outside of a dense city. I've lived in places where you can't even get to the nearest public road in 500m, let alone to another human being. In a lot of the USA, living within a 5 minute walk of your friends means they are "1 or at most 2 next door neighbors down the street".
  - dragonwriter 3y ago
    > I've lived in places where you can't even get to the nearest public road in 500m 500m is over 0.3 miles. That's certainly possible in rural locations, but its very much not typical of places people live outside of “dense cities”. > In a lot of the USA, living within a 5 minute walk of your friends means they are "1 or at most 2 next door neighbors down the street". This is true in a lot of the USA by geographical area, but not a common experience (exactly because this fact means virtually no one lives there.) Suburbs are typically around 2,000 people per square mile, or about 150 people within a 500m radius.

by kredd 3y ago

slothtrop 3y ago

As a parent I foresaw that I would make acquaintances with others who go to the park, or live on the street. So far we exchange polite pleasantries but there's just nothing beyond that. It should be unsurprising, the prospect of any change in routine is more uncomfortable and daunting when you're a busy parent, and friendship invites more overhead. There are friends I made after moving to a city that I barely want to see now, mostly because there wasn't enough in common in the first place. Strategy wise if you're unattached and have free time, making commutes to events and planned activities is still a more effective way to make friends.

kredd 3y ago
You’re probably right, since both of my siblings with children have said the same. That being said, it’s more about “living close to your existing friends” rather than “how to make friends in your area”. The latter deserves its own discussion too, as I think it’s not that easy.
SoftTalker 3y ago
Friendships are overhead. If you don't make regular effort to cultivate them, they wither and die. That takes time, and involves tradeoffs or impositions on other things you might want or need to do. The question is whether the benefits are worth it.
- slothtrop 3y ago
  Hence why less is more. You can have strong bonds with select few friends, but this can be lonelier if social time is limited, as it can be in adulthood.

tessierashpool 3y ago

The way I read the article, "live near your friends" means "within 10 minute walk of them", not "20 minute drive". I live 5 minutes walk away from a very close friend of mine apologies for being pedantic, but the article literally starts off with a screenshot of the Live Near Friends app which shows that you're doing it exactly right in their terms, because they're talking about living a 5-minute walk away. likewise, that's the goal of the app: This August, Levin launched Live Near Friends, a site that helps people live within a five-minute walk of a close friend or family member.

ryandrake 3y ago
A 5 minute walk is only about 500 meters. I don't understand how that's even possible outside of a dense city. I've lived in places where you can't even get to the nearest public road in 500m, let alone to another human being. In a lot of the USA, living within a 5 minute walk of your friends means they are "1 or at most 2 next door neighbors down the street".
- dragonwriter 3y ago
  > I've lived in places where you can't even get to the nearest public road in 500m 500m is over 0.3 miles. That's certainly possible in rural locations, but its very much not typical of places people live outside of “dense cities”. > In a lot of the USA, living within a 5 minute walk of your friends means they are "1 or at most 2 next door neighbors down the street". This is true in a lot of the USA by geographical area, but not a common experience (exactly because this fact means virtually no one lives there.) Suburbs are typically around 2,000 people per square mile, or about 150 people within a 500m radius.