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Regular hangs are the answer to this. My friendship circles aren't at the kids stage yet, but we've got difference way of ensuring we stay in touch. For one of

Regular hangs are the answer to this. My friendship circles aren't at the kids stage yet, but we've got difference way of ensuring we stay in touch. For one of them we have a weekly Wednesday night boardgame hang. It's extremely rare everyone goes, but usually you get at least half a dozen. For another friend circle we have a Discord, if any of us finds an event we're interested in, we post it there and see if anyone fancies joining, usually some do.

bee_rider 3y ago
I have some friends of similar closeness, but they’ve still sort of fallen away after having kids. I think it is easy to over-estimate how robust these sorts of passive “it’ll naturally thrive in a good environment” types of maintenance are. Active maintenance, stuff like scheduling around the availability of the folks with kids, is necessary I think.
subpixel 3y ago
I have a group of dad-friends who I like seeing individually, however the 'group hangs' we have put together are no fun for me at all. By hour two we are one-upping each other with wacky stories etc. and I'm eyeing the door. It may be that we lack strong collective ties but basically all of my good friendships are sort of isolated from each other.
- SoftTalker 3y ago
  That has always been me. As an adult I have always had just one or two close friends at any point in time. Never really part of a larger group of more casual friends. And I agree, in those situations it seems like most people are just bullshitting to say something. I rarely come away feeling like it was time well spent, or that I got to really know anything about anyone. Much easier and more rewarding to spend time with one person at a time.
- rolisz 3y ago
  Oh yes. I'm the same! When I am in a larger group, I have a hard time opening up and having meaningful discussions, whereas on one on one settings it's easier.

bee_rider 3y ago

I have some friends of similar closeness, but they’ve still sort of fallen away after having kids. I think it is easy to over-estimate how robust these sorts of passive “it’ll naturally thrive in a good environment” types of maintenance are. Active maintenance, stuff like scheduling around the availability of the folks with kids, is necessary I think.

subpixel 3y ago

I have a group of dad-friends who I like seeing individually, however the 'group hangs' we have put together are no fun for me at all. By hour two we are one-upping each other with wacky stories etc. and I'm eyeing the door. It may be that we lack strong collective ties but basically all of my good friendships are sort of isolated from each other.

SoftTalker 3y ago
That has always been me. As an adult I have always had just one or two close friends at any point in time. Never really part of a larger group of more casual friends. And I agree, in those situations it seems like most people are just bullshitting to say something. I rarely come away feeling like it was time well spent, or that I got to really know anything about anyone. Much easier and more rewarding to spend time with one person at a time.
rolisz 3y ago
Oh yes. I'm the same! When I am in a larger group, I have a hard time opening up and having meaningful discussions, whereas on one on one settings it's easier.