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> If you are optimizing for "truth" and everyone else is optimizing for "happiness", you might find yourself optimized out of the equation. When this happens t

> If you are optimizing for "truth" and everyone else is optimizing for "happiness", you might find yourself optimized out of the equation. When this happens to me, the "optimizing out" is usually mutual, and when it is unilateral it is as often from my side as theirs.

zoogeny 3y ago
That is totally possible. One thing to watch out for is the fable of the fox and the grapes. The fox is unable to get the grapes from a high branch and so wanders away thinking "they are probably sour". It is just a reminder that sometimes when we can't get something we want we use a defense mechanism to protect our ego. Kind of the point of "wisdom" though is the judgement to know when it applies and when it doesn't. Being on guard for common cognitive mistakes is a healthy part of self-reflection. It doesn't suggest that at all times and in all moments that you are in breach of some universal moral imperatives. And so "being on the same wavelength" goes both ways. Although, if you find that you are always requiring others to always be on your wavelength and you are never willing to match theirs, that might be another thing to self-reflect on.
- aidenn0 3y ago
  Your point about sour grapes is well taken; indeed I think about 50% of human brainpower is used to rationalize why the choices we have already made (or are likely to make in the future) can't be wrong. > And so "being on the same wavelength" goes both ways. Although, if you find that you are always requiring others to always be on your wavelength and you are never willing to match theirs, that might be another thing to self-reflect on. Very true. I'll give an analogy: I really don't like the game Ticket to Ride. If I'm going to a weekly game group I'll sometimes play Ticket to Ride because playing games are a social activity, which requires compromise. However if the group is playing Ticket to Ride a majority of the time, we are all happier if I just find a different gaming group.

zoogeny 3y ago

That is totally possible. One thing to watch out for is the fable of the fox and the grapes. The fox is unable to get the grapes from a high branch and so wanders away thinking "they are probably sour". It is just a reminder that sometimes when we can't get something we want we use a defense mechanism to protect our ego. Kind of the point of "wisdom" though is the judgement to know when it applies and when it doesn't. Being on guard for common cognitive mistakes is a healthy part of self-reflection. It doesn't suggest that at all times and in all moments that you are in breach of some universal moral imperatives. And so "being on the same wavelength" goes both ways. Although, if you find that you are always requiring others to always be on your wavelength and you are never willing to match theirs, that might be another thing to self-reflect on.

aidenn0 3y ago
Your point about sour grapes is well taken; indeed I think about 50% of human brainpower is used to rationalize why the choices we have already made (or are likely to make in the future) can't be wrong. > And so "being on the same wavelength" goes both ways. Although, if you find that you are always requiring others to always be on your wavelength and you are never willing to match theirs, that might be another thing to self-reflect on. Very true. I'll give an analogy: I really don't like the game Ticket to Ride. If I'm going to a weekly game group I'll sometimes play Ticket to Ride because playing games are a social activity, which requires compromise. However if the group is playing Ticket to Ride a majority of the time, we are all happier if I just find a different gaming group.