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Low expectations is a helpful part of living a peaceful life. Everything nice that happens is a bonus, but I’d recommend not staking your happiness on what oth

Low expectations is a helpful part of living a peaceful life. Everything nice that happens is a bonus, but I’d recommend not staking your happiness on what others do and don’t do.

krzyk 3y ago
Low expectations is recipe for a very sad life
- devoutsalsa 3y ago
  If you can be happy with nothing, you win life!
- peoplefromibiza 3y ago
  compared to ...? the secret of a happy life is trying to be happy, whatever that means to you, and making it, the secret of a sad life is trying to be happy and failing at it. regardless of the expectations.
- baq 3y ago
  Exactly the opposite, actually.
  - marcinzm 3y ago
    Humans aren't machines. In my experience it's very hard to actually have universally low expectations and be content with them in the long run. Usually people who say that either have low expectations in only certain areas (ie: material wealth, etc.) or are bottling up resentment (ie: the classic midlife crisis).
    - baq 3y ago
      That's the point! It's very hard to have small expectations especially if you see your friends, colleagues or generally other people to 'be better' or 'have more', but if you can not care about this, you'll be happy. It is against human nature, though.
  - bowsamic 3y ago
    I'm literally in extensive therapy because of the huge emotional and psychic damage that having low expectations for everything has caused. Literally immense self-sabotage. Huge feelings of hopelessness and inability to do basic work without feeling suicidal because I expect the worse. So no, it isn't always the opposite. For many of us, our pessimistic attitude has been extremely damaging. Someone else here said > You have control over the inputs but not the outcomes :) I can't speak for others, but for me personally, having low expectations has caused me to become lackadaisical or even destructive with my inputs. What is the point if it will just go wrong? EDIT: I can't reply because /u/dang has blocked my account again > That... isn't what I mean by low expectations? For me, it means to be grateful for what you've got, to question feelings of envy and to not feel that you deserve something. That's called "gratitude", not "low expectations" "Low expectations" means you expect low, i.e. bad. It's pessimism.
    - deleted 3y ago
      [deleted]
    - baq 3y ago
      That... isn't what I mean by low expectations? For me, it means to be grateful for what you've got, to question feelings of envy and to not feel that you deserve something. Definitely not to be pessimistic about anything, quite the contrary - be optimistic that you'll be positively surprised! Regardless of all that I hope you work out your depression, it sucks.
aiunboxed 3y ago
You have control over the inputs but not the outcomes :)
vore 3y ago
Yes, but you can also do things for other people to make their day better. Saying that happiness comes from within doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try help others feel happy.
- danw1979 3y ago
  The best leaders never take credit themselves. It doesn’t matter if it’s a paid job or as a volunteer on an OSS project, if you lead, you give all the credit to those who work under your direction.
  - marcinzm 3y ago
    Then you're just shifting the same unhappiness the person who wrote this blog feels to the leaders. That sort of flies when the leaders get a ton of money or other benefits but this is an OSS maintainer. Going for extremes tends to lead to worse outcomes than aiming for a good middle ground.
    - ZephyrBlu 3y ago
      It doesn't create unhappiness when you're a leader because that's part of the deal. There is no need to try and take explicit credit when you get implicit credit simply from the visibility of leading the project.
      - marcinzm 3y ago
        >It doesn't create unhappiness when you're a leader because that's part of the deal. Having spoken to a lot of low level leaders I'd disagree. It does create unhappiness because in the end they are no less human. That unhappiness may be worth it for the other benefits and the happiness they gain from them but saying they don't experience unhappiness is dismissing their very human emotions. But often the unhappiness dominates, they burn out and then get replaced by some narcissist/sociopath. That person is fully happy and rises up the ranks.
        3y ago
mfru 3y ago
This is a very sad way to live life. Expect the worst and be happy when things are better than your basically non-existent expectations? No thanks.
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]

Low expectations is a helpful part of living a peaceful life. Everything nice that happens is a bonus, but I’d recommend not staking your happiness on what others do and don’t do.

krzyk 3y ago

Low expectations is recipe for a very sad life

devoutsalsa 3y ago
If you can be happy with nothing, you win life!
peoplefromibiza 3y ago
compared to ...? the secret of a happy life is trying to be happy, whatever that means to you, and making it, the secret of a sad life is trying to be happy and failing at it. regardless of the expectations.
baq 3y ago
Exactly the opposite, actually.
- marcinzm 3y ago
  Humans aren't machines. In my experience it's very hard to actually have universally low expectations and be content with them in the long run. Usually people who say that either have low expectations in only certain areas (ie: material wealth, etc.) or are bottling up resentment (ie: the classic midlife crisis).
  - baq 3y ago
    That's the point! It's very hard to have small expectations especially if you see your friends, colleagues or generally other people to 'be better' or 'have more', but if you can not care about this, you'll be happy. It is against human nature, though.
- bowsamic 3y ago
  I'm literally in extensive therapy because of the huge emotional and psychic damage that having low expectations for everything has caused. Literally immense self-sabotage. Huge feelings of hopelessness and inability to do basic work without feeling suicidal because I expect the worse. So no, it isn't always the opposite. For many of us, our pessimistic attitude has been extremely damaging. Someone else here said > You have control over the inputs but not the outcomes :) I can't speak for others, but for me personally, having low expectations has caused me to become lackadaisical or even destructive with my inputs. What is the point if it will just go wrong? EDIT: I can't reply because /u/dang has blocked my account again > That... isn't what I mean by low expectations? For me, it means to be grateful for what you've got, to question feelings of envy and to not feel that you deserve something. That's called "gratitude", not "low expectations" "Low expectations" means you expect low, i.e. bad. It's pessimism.
  - deleted 3y ago
    [deleted]
  - baq 3y ago
    That... isn't what I mean by low expectations? For me, it means to be grateful for what you've got, to question feelings of envy and to not feel that you deserve something. Definitely not to be pessimistic about anything, quite the contrary - be optimistic that you'll be positively surprised! Regardless of all that I hope you work out your depression, it sucks.

aiunboxed 3y ago

You have control over the inputs but not the outcomes :)

vore 3y ago

Yes, but you can also do things for other people to make their day better. Saying that happiness comes from within doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try help others feel happy.

danw1979 3y ago
The best leaders never take credit themselves. It doesn’t matter if it’s a paid job or as a volunteer on an OSS project, if you lead, you give all the credit to those who work under your direction.
- marcinzm 3y ago
  Then you're just shifting the same unhappiness the person who wrote this blog feels to the leaders. That sort of flies when the leaders get a ton of money or other benefits but this is an OSS maintainer. Going for extremes tends to lead to worse outcomes than aiming for a good middle ground.
  - ZephyrBlu 3y ago
    It doesn't create unhappiness when you're a leader because that's part of the deal. There is no need to try and take explicit credit when you get implicit credit simply from the visibility of leading the project.
    - marcinzm 3y ago
      >It doesn't create unhappiness when you're a leader because that's part of the deal. Having spoken to a lot of low level leaders I'd disagree. It does create unhappiness because in the end they are no less human. That unhappiness may be worth it for the other benefits and the happiness they gain from them but saying they don't experience unhappiness is dismissing their very human emotions. But often the unhappiness dominates, they burn out and then get replaced by some narcissist/sociopath. That person is fully happy and rises up the ranks.
      - 3y ago

mfru 3y ago

This is a very sad way to live life. Expect the worst and be happy when things are better than your basically non-existent expectations? No thanks.

deleted 3y ago
[deleted]