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I can certainly see the other side of this argument though, it feels very unfair to saddle a third party with the responsibility to support a child they had no

I can certainly see the other side of this argument though, it feels very unfair to saddle a third party with the responsibility to support a child they had no part in making.

AussieWog93 3y ago
Do you have kids? I remember when my wife was pregnant with our first, I kept half-joking about getting a peace of mind paternity test. After actually meeting the kid and getting to know our love her, I couldn't think of anything more devastating than finding out she's not mine. Honestly wouldn't want to know, because losing my little girl would be worse than misallocating resources or whatever the Darwinian theory would be.
- huytersd 3y ago
  You may find being willfully ignorant acceptable but that’s really not the norm. I do have kids. If I knew they were not mine I would not leave them but I would have kids that were biologically mine. Either ways I want to know.
- goles 3y ago
  As someone else pointed out in the thread. The question wasn't would you want to know. The question is does a father have a right to know if they want to.
- amanaplanacanal 3y ago
  Oh sure, I totally understand that. I wouldn’t care a bit about genetics in that case. Imagine a different scenario though. Imagine you are on the point of breaking up, or even already separated, and she is suddenly pregnant.
ryandrake 3y ago
I think the importance of the "making" part greatly depends on how long it's been since the making happened. The more time that elapsed, the less important it is, and the more important the child's existing bond to their (assumed) father is. If I suddenly found out my 10 year old didn't happen to biologically come from me, it's not like I'd love her any less. What kind of monster says "Oh, so the kid's not 'biologically mine', I'm going to stop loving them!" I'd have words with mom, though, obviously...
- sneak 3y ago
  > I'd have words with mom, though, obviously... To what end?
  - ryandrake 3y ago
    Never gave it much thought because my kid's genetic lineage has never really been called into question. Obviously if something like this came up, you'd have to talk to your partner about a wide variety of topics ranging from trust to STDs. But "should I keep loving and raising the child" would obviously not be one of them.

I can certainly see the other side of this argument though, it feels very unfair to saddle a third party with the responsibility to support a child they had no part in making.

AussieWog93 3y ago

Do you have kids? I remember when my wife was pregnant with our first, I kept half-joking about getting a peace of mind paternity test. After actually meeting the kid and getting to know our love her, I couldn't think of anything more devastating than finding out she's not mine. Honestly wouldn't want to know, because losing my little girl would be worse than misallocating resources or whatever the Darwinian theory would be.

huytersd 3y ago
You may find being willfully ignorant acceptable but that’s really not the norm. I do have kids. If I knew they were not mine I would not leave them but I would have kids that were biologically mine. Either ways I want to know.
goles 3y ago
As someone else pointed out in the thread. The question wasn't would you want to know. The question is does a father have a right to know if they want to.
amanaplanacanal 3y ago
Oh sure, I totally understand that. I wouldn’t care a bit about genetics in that case. Imagine a different scenario though. Imagine you are on the point of breaking up, or even already separated, and she is suddenly pregnant.

ryandrake 3y ago

I think the importance of the "making" part greatly depends on how long it's been since the making happened. The more time that elapsed, the less important it is, and the more important the child's existing bond to their (assumed) father is. If I suddenly found out my 10 year old didn't happen to biologically come from me, it's not like I'd love her any less. What kind of monster says "Oh, so the kid's not 'biologically mine', I'm going to stop loving them!" I'd have words with mom, though, obviously...

sneak 3y ago
> I'd have words with mom, though, obviously... To what end?
- ryandrake 3y ago
  Never gave it much thought because my kid's genetic lineage has never really been called into question. Obviously if something like this came up, you'd have to talk to your partner about a wide variety of topics ranging from trust to STDs. But "should I keep loving and raising the child" would obviously not be one of them.