4 ms·

> Does having a badge that someone is burning $499 a month on this increase attractiveness? The badge signals two things: 1. This person is likely serious abo

> Does having a badge that someone is burning $499 a month on this increase attractiveness? The badge signals two things: 1. This person is likely serious about finding a long-term partner. 2. This person likely has considerable disposable income be able to pay $499/month. > You could spend $499 out at bars trying to meet people, and at least you’d get 50 beers in return! If you're looking for a long-term partner, I think a bar is basically the worst place. Or maybe it's just a terrible place for me personally, since I go to bars, so a person at a bar is probably not a good match for me.

kderbyma 3y ago
This reply signals two things. This person is working for Tinder, or this person is rich and dumb.
- scubbo 3y ago
  > this person is rich and dumb Not, necessarily, a negative dating signal for some people. (Less cynically - it might signal "this person is comfortably-off and is willing to devote significant energy to dating" - which could be positive or negative depending on whether you think their dating intentions align with yours or not)
lp0_on_fire 3y ago
Perhaps the dating scene has changed since I was last exposed to Tinder but “serious” is not the term I would use to describe an app primarily used for hookups.
- hot_gril 3y ago
  It was partially used for serious dating (myself included) back when there were no other popular dating apps, meaning all kinds of people were on there. Since then, users have split out to other ones. Maybe Tinder wants them back. Luckily I'm not going back cause I met my now-wife somewhere else.
- Sohcahtoa82 3y ago
  I personally have not used Tinder, as I've been in a long-term relationship (that eventually turned into a marriage) since before it even existed. But from what I've heard, I get the feeling that the majority of men think it's a hook-up app, whereas the majority of women think it's a dating app.
  - red-iron-pine 3y ago
    it was supposed to be a straight-people version of Grindr, but dating and sexual dynamics don't work that way for the heteros.
    - Sohcahtoa82 3y ago
      I would argue that it doesn't work that way for heterosexual women. Men, both gay and straight, are far more willing, generally speaking, to be willing to have anonymous sex than heterosexual women.
paulddraper 3y ago
> 2. This person likely has considerable disposable income be able to pay $499/month. This is deeeeep into try-hard territory. Fancy cars work because fancy cars are cool regardless of dating status. But what kind of "loser" is so desperate as to pay $500 a month to meet people? The badge is not a plus. The other stuff is.
- FormerBandmate 3y ago
  Yeah, your car says something about you. Teslas are a goal for a techie, Mercedes/BMW are the goal for old money, big trucks are the goal for more working class guys etc
  - HeartStrings 3y ago
    Merc/BMW isn’t for old money.
    - red-iron-pine 3y ago
      yeah pretty much everyone I've seen in a 3 series is basically trying to hard; the painfully middle class Persian guy with overpriced sunglasses. Meanwhile the actually rich folks I know are driving F150 Raptors or Teslas.
      - Sohcahtoa82 3y ago
        I've always said (with tongue planted firmly in cheek) that BMWs are for people that just want to look like they have money. People who actually want a nice car will buy a Lexus. At least Lexus considers long-term reliability to be a luxury feature, whereas BMW just makes sure the car will last for the 3 years the original owner will lease it.
        harambae 3y ago
        Depends which BMW engine you go with. I've got the N52 (inline 6) with 200k miles on it. If I'd gone with the twin-turbo, I'd probably have thrown it away twice by now.
panick21_ 3y ago
Or it signals "this person is looking for as many one night stands as possible". Bars/Pubs are a place people have been meeting each other for 100s of years.
red-iron-pine 3y ago
okay so then go to church. or a book club. or a softball team. or a linux user group. or D&D/tabletop group. plus bars skew by demographic and event. used to work at bars and restaraunts near hospitals -- 9am shift changes means people want beer at 10am -- and dated a couple of nurses because of it. find the punk rock bar, or nerd event at the bar, etc. if you're only willing to do low effort interactions through an app then you're only going to get low effort partners, who will dismiss you based on one bad photo.
- Sohcahtoa82 3y ago
  > or a linux user group. or D&D/tabletop group [...] or nerd event at the bar All of which will be like 98% men. > if you're only willing to do low effort interactions through an app then you're only going to get low effort partners, who will dismiss you based on one bad photo. I found my wife on OKCupid back in 2010, before online dating became an utter cesspool of dick pics and matches based purely on attractiveness with no consideration for actual matching by personality. Really, if I were to ever be back in the dating pool, Tinder in general would be my last choice.

kderbyma 3y ago

This reply signals two things. This person is working for Tinder, or this person is rich and dumb.

scubbo 3y ago
> this person is rich and dumb Not, necessarily, a negative dating signal for some people. (Less cynically - it might signal "this person is comfortably-off and is willing to devote significant energy to dating" - which could be positive or negative depending on whether you think their dating intentions align with yours or not)

lp0_on_fire 3y ago

Perhaps the dating scene has changed since I was last exposed to Tinder but “serious” is not the term I would use to describe an app primarily used for hookups.

hot_gril 3y ago
It was partially used for serious dating (myself included) back when there were no other popular dating apps, meaning all kinds of people were on there. Since then, users have split out to other ones. Maybe Tinder wants them back. Luckily I'm not going back cause I met my now-wife somewhere else.
Sohcahtoa82 3y ago
I personally have not used Tinder, as I've been in a long-term relationship (that eventually turned into a marriage) since before it even existed. But from what I've heard, I get the feeling that the majority of men think it's a hook-up app, whereas the majority of women think it's a dating app.
- red-iron-pine 3y ago
  it was supposed to be a straight-people version of Grindr, but dating and sexual dynamics don't work that way for the heteros.
  - Sohcahtoa82 3y ago
    I would argue that it doesn't work that way for heterosexual women. Men, both gay and straight, are far more willing, generally speaking, to be willing to have anonymous sex than heterosexual women.

paulddraper 3y ago

> 2. This person likely has considerable disposable income be able to pay $499/month. This is deeeeep into try-hard territory. Fancy cars work because fancy cars are cool regardless of dating status. But what kind of "loser" is so desperate as to pay $500 a month to meet people? The badge is not a plus. The other stuff is.

FormerBandmate 3y ago
Yeah, your car says something about you. Teslas are a goal for a techie, Mercedes/BMW are the goal for old money, big trucks are the goal for more working class guys etc
- HeartStrings 3y ago
  Merc/BMW isn’t for old money.
  - red-iron-pine 3y ago
    yeah pretty much everyone I've seen in a 3 series is basically trying to hard; the painfully middle class Persian guy with overpriced sunglasses. Meanwhile the actually rich folks I know are driving F150 Raptors or Teslas.
    - Sohcahtoa82 3y ago
      I've always said (with tongue planted firmly in cheek) that BMWs are for people that just want to look like they have money. People who actually want a nice car will buy a Lexus. At least Lexus considers long-term reliability to be a luxury feature, whereas BMW just makes sure the car will last for the 3 years the original owner will lease it.
      - harambae 3y ago
        Depends which BMW engine you go with. I've got the N52 (inline 6) with 200k miles on it. If I'd gone with the twin-turbo, I'd probably have thrown it away twice by now.

panick21_ 3y ago

Or it signals "this person is looking for as many one night stands as possible". Bars/Pubs are a place people have been meeting each other for 100s of years.

red-iron-pine 3y ago

okay so then go to church. or a book club. or a softball team. or a linux user group. or D&D/tabletop group. plus bars skew by demographic and event. used to work at bars and restaraunts near hospitals -- 9am shift changes means people want beer at 10am -- and dated a couple of nurses because of it. find the punk rock bar, or nerd event at the bar, etc. if you're only willing to do low effort interactions through an app then you're only going to get low effort partners, who will dismiss you based on one bad photo.

Sohcahtoa82 3y ago
> or a linux user group. or D&D/tabletop group [...] or nerd event at the bar All of which will be like 98% men. > if you're only willing to do low effort interactions through an app then you're only going to get low effort partners, who will dismiss you based on one bad photo. I found my wife on OKCupid back in 2010, before online dating became an utter cesspool of dick pics and matches based purely on attractiveness with no consideration for actual matching by personality. Really, if I were to ever be back in the dating pool, Tinder in general would be my last choice.