Yes, choosing who gets to be on that list is a problem that software other than iOS has as well. Are those lists typically pay to play? Does e.g. Microsoft pay

Yes, choosing who gets to be on that list is a problem that software other than iOS has as well. Are those lists typically pay to play? Does e.g. Microsoft pay for having Bing listed as an option in Chrome? I remember when Android switched (in the EU) from having Google be the default search to having the users pick from a list during device setup. They initially proposed determining who gets to be on the list via an auction. Companies like Duck Duck Go were outraged, and demanded to be listed for free, and eventually Android went with listing the most popular search engines in each country. Now it turns out that they've been paying Apple all this time, and not said a word. I guess it makes sense. Duck Duck Go cannot afford to speak against Apple for fear of retaliation, while Google is a punching bag they can hit for free PR any time they feel like it.