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Lots of wisdom in this. It's tiresome to be a know-it-all. I've had so much "free time" to randomly absorb trivia and surface-level study things that I have an
by NoZebra120vClip 3y ago
Lots of wisdom in this.
It's tiresome to be a know-it-all. I've had so much "free time" to randomly absorb trivia and surface-level study things that I have an opinion or factoid or anecdote about everything. But what do I stand for? Where does my expertise lie?
One of my neighbors was a Ph.D student, and I offered her some magazines, and she said she doesn't read anything outside her subject matter, which is plenty. And I knew a church lady who told me "I don't read any books other than the Bible." and I admired that sort of focus.
And independence begets loneliness. If I'm nitpicky and pedantic and I criticize how someone else does things, especially doing me a favor or a service, then I'll end up doing it myself, and that works for a while, until you forget how to ask for help, and nobody wants to help you anyway, and worse yet, nobody asks for your help either, and you haven't helped anyone out and so no mutual favors are owed.
Conversations with my parents can be frustrating, because I can be desperate for advice or direction, and I can even ask something that is exactly my father's area of expertise and experience, and they'll just say "we don't know" and it's just my cue to work it out for myself. I'm an adult now, I put on my big boy pants and deal with the real world. Mom and Dad embrace dumbness and continue their narrative of neighborhood gossip that dominates our phone calls.
Receiving no reply at work: indicates I asked in the wrong place. Coworkers know it's not their job to compose an elegant message with a helpful link to redirect me. Or, in a live interaction, "let me look into that [and get back to you]" is the classic way to shut down an inquiry that is not in their wheelhouse.
Having someone help you out, especially if it's a trivial thing, strengthens friendships and you bond over this common shared experience. Interdependence isn't weakness, it's being human.