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“Asian” and “western” describe huge and varied populations with little in common. One refers to a geographic designation, the other to a shared set of cultural

“Asian” and “western” describe huge and varied populations with little in common. One refers to a geographic designation, the other to a shared set of cultural norms and economic development. What evidence do you have that “Asian” parents (whomever that refers to) show more devotion to their children? Or that “western” couples show less care? Extended family situations, kids living with grandparents or aunts and uncles, seems more common in poorer places (mentioned in the article), so it’s likely lots of kids grow up with relatives but not with married parents.

rayiner 3y ago
> What evidence do you have that “Asian” parents (whomever that refers to) show more devotion to their children? Or that “western” couples show less care? I come from South Asia. It’s my observation that Americans are far less willing to sacrifice their personal happiness and well being for their kids.
- gregjor 3y ago
  That’s not evidence. You know what you don’t see in America? Children working in factories. Baby girls left at orphanages or sold. You do see parents going into debt to pay for school, sports and other activities, deferring retirement, buying phones and cars for their kids. Generalizations that include vast numbers of people from different places and cultures don’t make any sense to begin with. Cambodia and Japan, both Asian, have very different outcomes for children. America likewise doesn’t describe a single culture or set of traditions. Some countries and cultures make divorce difficult or impossible, the USA does not. Anecdotally, as an American parent, I have seen far more parents centering their lives around children and making sacrifices than I have seen selfish and neglectful parents — even after divorce. In rural Thailand you see many children raised by grandparents or other relatives because the parents dropped them off to do their own thing. And you see devoted parents caring for their children too. I can’t generalize anything about Thai parents from those observations. I suspect that opinions about how much parents care for children, anecdotal and generalized, derive mainly from misinterpreting cultural differences.
  - em-bee 3y ago
    Children working in factories. Baby girls left at orphanages or sold most likely caused by extreme poverty. children in factories happens in the US too: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35137873 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35137873 also this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_selling#United_States https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_selling#United_States selling babies is a form of adoption that was common in the US too before adoption became acceptable. people in the US still give up children for adoption. treatment of girls is a specific asian problem, driven by their culture and the dependency to have a son to care for them in old age, but it is changing. In rural Thailand you see many children raised by grandparents that is simply asian culture. it happens in china too. the motivation here is that the parents are not just off to do their own thing, but are off to work their ass off so their kids can have a future. that's not selfish or neglectful but in their eyes, the ultimate sacrifice.
em-bee 3y ago
i lived in china and in europe for more than a decade, also in other asian and western countries. the difference is noticeable. chinese will sacrifice everything for their children. until recently they had to because there was no pension system, and the only way to get by when you are to old to work was to have your children care for you.
- gregjor 3y ago
  I lived in America for most of my life. I raised three children. Every parent I’ve known, myself included, and my own parents, made sacrifices for their children and would sacrifice more if necessary. I live in SE Asia now. I see lots of devoted parents making sacrifices, just like most parents everywhere. I’ve seen selfish and negligent parents in the US, and in SE Asia. Those parents occur everywhere. Some Asian cultures emphasize the extended family, and children taking care of their parents later in life, perhaps more than Americans or westerners emphasize that. America doesn’t have much of a pension system either, and lots of adult children care for their aging parents.

rayiner 3y ago

> What evidence do you have that “Asian” parents (whomever that refers to) show more devotion to their children? Or that “western” couples show less care? I come from South Asia. It’s my observation that Americans are far less willing to sacrifice their personal happiness and well being for their kids.

gregjor 3y ago
That’s not evidence. You know what you don’t see in America? Children working in factories. Baby girls left at orphanages or sold. You do see parents going into debt to pay for school, sports and other activities, deferring retirement, buying phones and cars for their kids. Generalizations that include vast numbers of people from different places and cultures don’t make any sense to begin with. Cambodia and Japan, both Asian, have very different outcomes for children. America likewise doesn’t describe a single culture or set of traditions. Some countries and cultures make divorce difficult or impossible, the USA does not. Anecdotally, as an American parent, I have seen far more parents centering their lives around children and making sacrifices than I have seen selfish and neglectful parents — even after divorce. In rural Thailand you see many children raised by grandparents or other relatives because the parents dropped them off to do their own thing. And you see devoted parents caring for their children too. I can’t generalize anything about Thai parents from those observations. I suspect that opinions about how much parents care for children, anecdotal and generalized, derive mainly from misinterpreting cultural differences.
- em-bee 3y ago
  Children working in factories. Baby girls left at orphanages or sold most likely caused by extreme poverty. children in factories happens in the US too: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35137873 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35137873 also this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_selling#United_States https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_selling#United_States selling babies is a form of adoption that was common in the US too before adoption became acceptable. people in the US still give up children for adoption. treatment of girls is a specific asian problem, driven by their culture and the dependency to have a son to care for them in old age, but it is changing. In rural Thailand you see many children raised by grandparents that is simply asian culture. it happens in china too. the motivation here is that the parents are not just off to do their own thing, but are off to work their ass off so their kids can have a future. that's not selfish or neglectful but in their eyes, the ultimate sacrifice.

em-bee 3y ago

i lived in china and in europe for more than a decade, also in other asian and western countries. the difference is noticeable. chinese will sacrifice everything for their children. until recently they had to because there was no pension system, and the only way to get by when you are to old to work was to have your children care for you.

gregjor 3y ago
I lived in America for most of my life. I raised three children. Every parent I’ve known, myself included, and my own parents, made sacrifices for their children and would sacrifice more if necessary. I live in SE Asia now. I see lots of devoted parents making sacrifices, just like most parents everywhere. I’ve seen selfish and negligent parents in the US, and in SE Asia. Those parents occur everywhere. Some Asian cultures emphasize the extended family, and children taking care of their parents later in life, perhaps more than Americans or westerners emphasize that. America doesn’t have much of a pension system either, and lots of adult children care for their aging parents.