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This is pretty on the nose for me. My wife and I moved from a Chicago suburb to Portland about 5 years ago. The amount of effort required just to strike up a co
by codelikeawolf 3y ago
This is pretty on the nose for me. My wife and I moved from a Chicago suburb to Portland about 5 years ago. The amount of effort required just to strike up a convo with strangers (and keep it going) was pretty significant. We especially missed how acceptable giving people "the business" (i.e. harmless joking or razzing to lower someone's guard and make them feel comfortable) was so common where we grew up. You could give someone sh*t for something trivial then end up helping them remodel their basement.
It was isolating for a while until we sort of gave up and accepted that people are just different out here. There's nothing wrong with that, but we're moving back to Chicago (for other reasons). We're looking forward to not having to jump through hoops just to have a meaningful convo with a stranger again.
- smcin 3y agoWhich area/suburb of Chicago?
- codelikeawolf 3y agoWe had a house in Villa Park. I grew up in Tinley Park.
- tptacek 3y agoOrland Park, represent! :)
- codelikeawolf 3y agoNice! I spend most of my adolescence at Orland Square. Tinley Park folks went to Orland to shop and Orland Park folks went to Tinley to buy a car.
- nilram 3y agoAnd which area of Portland? I've had generations of neighbors who I've never spoken with, or just hello'd. None that I've even sat down to dinner with.
- codelikeawolf 3y agoWe're in NE (Eliot neighborhood). We've lived in our current place for about 3 years and have also barely spoke with our neighbors. I think I've only seen the next door neighbors about 4 times. For the record, I'm not trying to get into a 45 minute convo. It would just be nice to have a little friendly banter from time to time. I appreciate that different places have different cultural norms, otherwise the planet would be a very boring place. But getting consistently iced out by strangers is kind of a bummer. Edit: typo
- SantalBlush 3y agoGiving people shit, in a friendly way, is part of the Midwestern use of irony. They like to say the opposite of what they mean when it's assumed to be understood that is the case. "You're getting here soon, right?" "Nah, I'm stopping at a spa in Gary, Indiana." Something like that. Those who aren't used to it often don't appreciate it.
- codelikeawolf 3y ago100%. That is a perfect example and I'm looking forward to more of it when we move back. In addition to irony, there's also exaggeration. My wife thinks it takes me longer than normal to tie my shoes, so whenever we're about to go somewhere she'll say something like "We're leaving in 20 minutes so you should have started putting your shoes on 10 minutes ago."