I find there's already too much written about 'good software', 'best practices', 'design patterns', 'refactoring' etc. These books/articles almost try to force

I find there's already too much written about 'good software', 'best practices', 'design patterns', 'refactoring' etc. These books/articles almost try to force sw engineering into an harness as if it was the military. A lot of sw practices and solutions are in the area of 'it depends'. That is where good (system!) domain knowledge, cooperation and argumentation comes into play. More often than not, discussions are stalled because of ego, stubbernness, 'i know better', 'the standard practice says...' etc. What's needed to arrive at good sw is good collaboration. 'I understood we need to implement this or that because the customer needs..., do you agree?' and 'the current system works like this so i would propose... what do you think?' For some reason, it is hard to have such fruitful fully interactive, open and iterative discussions, which is a pity.