Just buy Apple hardware. They're currently bugging me about updating a 9 year old ipad I just use as a kindle. They flatly blow Google away on device updates,

Just buy Apple hardware. They're currently bugging me about updating a 9 year old ipad I just use as a kindle. They flatly blow Google away on device updates, and will continue to do so even if Google isn't lying about their new / supposed 5 year update plan (and NB: that's 5 years from the release date, not 5 years from the last sale date, which could be reasonable.)