4 ms·
For a few years after the death of my baby daughter, I’d relive the events of that day pretty regularly, looking for some kind of meaning, pattern, lesson to be
by danw1979 3y ago
For a few years after the death of my baby daughter, I’d relive the events of that day pretty regularly, looking for some kind of meaning, pattern, lesson to be learned maybe. I’d also continually wonder what she’d be like now she was 3, 4 years old, etc.
This was making me incredibly sad. Eventually, I just had to forget that day, forget her, stop thinking about what her life would have been like, and get on with enjoying the here and now, with my other children.
Even though it would be her 10th birthday next week, I haven’t thought much about her in the run up to this.
Dwelling on past trauma didn’t work for me. YMMV.
- late25 3y agoHeartbreaking. I know it means nothing but my heart goes out to you. Wishing you the best.
- heckelson 3y agoI have nothing constructive to add to your comment, but I was quite moved by it. I'm not a parent (yet?) so I can only begin to imagine what you must have gone through, however I hope you're in a better place now.
- johnchristopher 3y agoYes, it's incredibly cruel when we realize that sometimes forgetting or not keeping them alive in our thoughts is the only way to keep on living without being burdened by the sadness of what may or should have been.
- 93po 3y agoFocusing on present moment is a very powerful tool and I’m glad you discovered it. Your daughter would want you to be happy. Best wishes to you and your family.
- Balgair 3y agoI am so sorry for your loss. I am glad to hear you are healing in your own way though. I'll make sure to hug my own extra hard tonight.