Working through multiple traumata for a few years now. I've found that if you work through a negative thought long enough, it will eventually reveal its purpose

Working through multiple traumata for a few years now. I've found that if you work through a negative thought long enough, it will eventually reveal its purpose. I've started journaling in 2016 or so, so it takes a long time, since I didn't have coaching or anything. Internal dialog goes like this: - feeling numb and like dieing ~ what's the issue? - I don't work, feeling guilty over not working, I'd wish they'd fire me over that ~ That true? - I want to get fired so my destiny comes true again, ima fckup, looser ~ you're not though (examples of achievements) - reality fcks with my belief... (some silence, processing, giving it time) ... so, I'm not a fckup? ~ No - That feels ... hopeful? (haven't felt that in a very long time) ~ weird, hm? - why do I believe this? (ima fckup) ~ Feels safer that way, others can't hurt you if you do it first and harder. Nobody can hurt you like you do... (mix of loving feelings follows) I've done byron katie's work for a while, and some of her voice was internalized (listened to her youtube dialogues for 2-3 weeks), that might be, where the nice questioning voice must have come from.