3 ms·

You’re going to play it. And that’s ok. Abstinence in common things, or even required things like food is a challenge. Saying you’ll never play is just setting

You’re going to play it. And that’s ok. Abstinence in common things, or even required things like food is a challenge. Saying you’ll never play is just setting up for failure so when you crack, you play more. What works for me is to set some non-zero target. That way when I fail, I fail by a percentage instead of an infinite percentage. Pledging zero and playing for an hour is much worse seeming than pledging an hour and playing two. Only a 100% overage.

NegativeK 3y ago
Some people require abstinence and even total social avoidance to fight addiction. Some people need moderation. There isn't a one size fits all, and I don't think advocating for OP to give in when they've got a long history of unhealthy behavior is wise -- at least, it's unwise unless you know a lot more about OP.
- monissiddiqui 3y ago
  Agreed. It's best to see a professional on the best approach for one to take with regards to controlling addictions. It's hard to have an unbiased perspective of your behaviour when you're under the spell.
- prepend 3y ago
  It may not be wise, but it’s true. I only know what OP wrote. And my money is that they will play. The point of my comment was to help OP develop a long term strategy to help with their issue. It’s no more one size fits all then “I’m never going to play this game.” It’s just one idea that may or may not work. That being said, I’ll bet you $50 that OP plays BG3 within six months.
  - pooriar 3y ago
    I'd take that bet, will give me more motivation to prove you wrong ;)
    - prepend 3y ago
      Neat. I always wanted to make a HN bet. I don’t see your contact info in your profile, so please email me some contact at anything@prepend.com and I’ll connect with you in six months to settle.
  - NegativeK 3y ago
    Betting on someone else's mental health seems fucked up.
CharlesW 3y ago
That's all very cool and I'm glad it works for you, but it doesn't for others. As the author notes, "I wish I could just play them in moderation like most people, but because of my addiction that is much harder for me than simply abstaining."
- prepend 3y ago
  > but it doesn't for others But it does work for others. Millions of people who play despite addictions or urges to play. I’m familiar with addiction and the stories we tell ourselves and others. Just because I say “moderation doesn’t work for me” doesn’t mean it never works. Just like when I say “I’ll never play again, this time I mean it” that doesn’t mean that works either. People are different and there’s different things that work or don’t work. Addiction is weird and it distorts our perception of reality. Never trust anything an addict says, just trust their actions. I’ve been to a lot of addiction meetings and it’s never very useful to trust “I’m not going to drink for 100 days. I promise.” It’s much better to focus talk on “I haven’t had a drink in 100 days.”
burkaman 3y ago
Specifically for video games, I actually think abstinence is much more achievable than moderation, because if you haven't installed the game yet you can't get any instant gratification. In a moment of weakness you might click install in Steam, but then 20 minutes later it's still downloading and you aren't having fun yet and maybe you come to your senses and cancel the download. You could even uninstall Steam to make it more difficult for yourself. If it's already there ready to play, it's incredibly difficult to limit yourself to a certain time period (if you're addicted). Endless instant gratification, zero friction, the game never gives you an opportunity to pull yourself out of it.

NegativeK 3y ago

Some people require abstinence and even total social avoidance to fight addiction. Some people need moderation. There isn't a one size fits all, and I don't think advocating for OP to give in when they've got a long history of unhealthy behavior is wise -- at least, it's unwise unless you know a lot more about OP.

monissiddiqui 3y ago
Agreed. It's best to see a professional on the best approach for one to take with regards to controlling addictions. It's hard to have an unbiased perspective of your behaviour when you're under the spell.
prepend 3y ago
It may not be wise, but it’s true. I only know what OP wrote. And my money is that they will play. The point of my comment was to help OP develop a long term strategy to help with their issue. It’s no more one size fits all then “I’m never going to play this game.” It’s just one idea that may or may not work. That being said, I’ll bet you $50 that OP plays BG3 within six months.
- pooriar 3y ago
  I'd take that bet, will give me more motivation to prove you wrong ;)
  - prepend 3y ago
    Neat. I always wanted to make a HN bet. I don’t see your contact info in your profile, so please email me some contact at anything@prepend.com and I’ll connect with you in six months to settle.
- NegativeK 3y ago
  Betting on someone else's mental health seems fucked up.

CharlesW 3y ago

That's all very cool and I'm glad it works for you, but it doesn't for others. As the author notes, "I wish I could just play them in moderation like most people, but because of my addiction that is much harder for me than simply abstaining."

prepend 3y ago
> but it doesn't for others But it does work for others. Millions of people who play despite addictions or urges to play. I’m familiar with addiction and the stories we tell ourselves and others. Just because I say “moderation doesn’t work for me” doesn’t mean it never works. Just like when I say “I’ll never play again, this time I mean it” that doesn’t mean that works either. People are different and there’s different things that work or don’t work. Addiction is weird and it distorts our perception of reality. Never trust anything an addict says, just trust their actions. I’ve been to a lot of addiction meetings and it’s never very useful to trust “I’m not going to drink for 100 days. I promise.” It’s much better to focus talk on “I haven’t had a drink in 100 days.”

burkaman 3y ago

Specifically for video games, I actually think abstinence is much more achievable than moderation, because if you haven't installed the game yet you can't get any instant gratification. In a moment of weakness you might click install in Steam, but then 20 minutes later it's still downloading and you aren't having fun yet and maybe you come to your senses and cancel the download. You could even uninstall Steam to make it more difficult for yourself. If it's already there ready to play, it's incredibly difficult to limit yourself to a certain time period (if you're addicted). Endless instant gratification, zero friction, the game never gives you an opportunity to pull yourself out of it.