3 ms·

> your pronoun if you didn't make it obvious by your attire This is still a minefield, especially among teenagers and very young adults who latch on to any opp

> your pronoun if you didn't make it obvious by your attire This is still a minefield, especially among teenagers and very young adults who latch on to any opportunity to assert their individuality. I have met more than one man who wears female clothing and cosmetics and adopts female mannerisms, yet still insists that he is non-binary or a “non-binary male” and so his pronouns will be “he” or “they”, and you might get chewed out for using the wrong pronoun.

kayodelycaon 3y ago
Having dealt with this many times, it’s usually just easier to apologize and use their preferred pronouns/name. I tend to store that information in my contacts list. On the other side, I’ve had to deal with changing my assumed name and some people just insist on using my previous assumed name. (Most people know me as Kayodé, not my legal name.) A few people forget from time to time. I can only imagine what it’s like for people who change their legal name instead keeping it for convenience. Identity is a pain in the ass and it’s just not worth the argument.
triceratops 3y ago
You know they prefer non-binary pronouns and still referred to them with "he" and "his". Maybe you're a non-native English speaker, and struggle with gender and grammar. Or maybe they have a point. EDIT: I was wrong. See below.
- OfSanguineFire 3y ago
  You’re rudely assuming an awful lot: 1) that it was me who referred to the person with an unwanted pronoun, as opposed to simply witnessing the person get upset by a third party doing so, and 2) that someone who insists on the identity of a non-binary male necessarily does not want to be referred to with the pronoun “he”. Pronoun preferences are just as diverse or contrary to others’ expectations as the labels that people apply to themselves.
  - paulddraper 3y ago
    Was referring to your comment > still insists that he is non-binary...so his pronouns will be...
  - triceratops 3y ago
    > that it was me who referred to the person with an unwanted pronoun You did. In your comment. EDIT: I'm sorry, you said their pronouns are "he or they". I misread your original post.
    - deleted 3y ago
      [deleted]
- paulddraper 3y ago
  I'm a native speaker and I struggle. Maybe I'm slow, but "themselves" referring to a single person is weird af.
Kerb_ 3y ago
If it helps you feel better, as a they/he, being referred to as "she" doesn't offend me so much as it might confuse people I present more masculine around. Sometimes it even feels like it validates the androgynous/feminine expression that I partake in. I can't speak for everyone though, I'm just me

kayodelycaon 3y ago

Having dealt with this many times, it’s usually just easier to apologize and use their preferred pronouns/name. I tend to store that information in my contacts list. On the other side, I’ve had to deal with changing my assumed name and some people just insist on using my previous assumed name. (Most people know me as Kayodé, not my legal name.) A few people forget from time to time. I can only imagine what it’s like for people who change their legal name instead keeping it for convenience. Identity is a pain in the ass and it’s just not worth the argument.

triceratops 3y ago

You know they prefer non-binary pronouns and still referred to them with "he" and "his". Maybe you're a non-native English speaker, and struggle with gender and grammar. Or maybe they have a point. EDIT: I was wrong. See below.

OfSanguineFire 3y ago
You’re rudely assuming an awful lot: 1) that it was me who referred to the person with an unwanted pronoun, as opposed to simply witnessing the person get upset by a third party doing so, and 2) that someone who insists on the identity of a non-binary male necessarily does not want to be referred to with the pronoun “he”. Pronoun preferences are just as diverse or contrary to others’ expectations as the labels that people apply to themselves.
- paulddraper 3y ago
  Was referring to your comment > still insists that he is non-binary...so his pronouns will be...
- triceratops 3y ago
  > that it was me who referred to the person with an unwanted pronoun You did. In your comment. EDIT: I'm sorry, you said their pronouns are "he or they". I misread your original post.
  - deleted 3y ago
    [deleted]
paulddraper 3y ago
I'm a native speaker and I struggle. Maybe I'm slow, but "themselves" referring to a single person is weird af.

Kerb_ 3y ago

If it helps you feel better, as a they/he, being referred to as "she" doesn't offend me so much as it might confuse people I present more masculine around. Sometimes it even feels like it validates the androgynous/feminine expression that I partake in. I can't speak for everyone though, I'm just me