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Ugh this is so dismissive. I'm glad learning gratitude helped you. How would you feel if, instead, I said "your gratitude practice is actually new age hippy tra

by igor47 3y ago

Ugh this is so dismissive. I'm glad learning gratitude helped you. How would you feel if, instead, I said "your gratitude practice is actually new age hippy trash"? Different people derive benefit from different things. Why not just leave it at, "the other stuff didn't work for me"?

sooheon 3y ago
I guess gratitude != generosity
bheadmaster 3y ago
> Different people derive benefit from different things. Why not just leave it at, "the other stuff didn't work for me"? Different people have different opinions. Why not leave it at "I think the other stuff is not new age hippy trash"?
- igor47 3y ago
  Your correction wasn't my point. I would prefer to live in a kinder world. I explicitly appealed to the parent's likely desires for same. If you prefer to live in a world where people are casual dicks to one another, then I guess there's nothing to take away from my original comment.
  - bheadmaster 3y ago
    And I would prefer to live in a world where people can say what they mean, without having to censor or sugarcoat their speech because someone else prefers not to hear their words. Different people have different preferences. Can't you just leave it at that? Why do you have to go around telling people not to say stuff you dislike in a public forum?
    - igor47 3y ago
      If you truly believe what you just wrote, why did you write it? Didn't you, in effect, dislike what I said and tell me not to say it? The whole point of forums is to productively disagree and hopefully learn something. It's not sugar coating to avoid being casually mean or dismissive -- it's advancing the very reason we're supposedly here.
      - Jensson 3y ago
        Original attacked a concept, you attacked an individual. Don't equate the two. The first person who starts to attack an individual will be told to stop, that is the only reasonable way to make people stop attacking individuals so we can argue freely.
        raffraffraff 3y ago
        Oh snap. I just said a long-winded version of the same (didn't see because HN is gloriously old-fashioned)
        bheadmaster 3y ago
        I couldn't have said it better. Thank you for the eloquent explanation.
      - raffraffraff 3y ago
        I don't normally get into this type of conversation, and I don't mean to pile-on either, but I think that the target of the dismissiveness is a distinction worth pointing out. The post that you originally replied to was dismissive about some mindfulness techniques. You made it more personal, accusing the poster of being dismissive. This is directed at a person. It's less abstract, and their more likely to cause offence or annoyance. My general rule is that I try to have thicker skin when it comes to assaults on ideas, and be careful not to offend persons.
  - rewmie 3y ago
    > I would prefer to live in a kinder world. OP is being kind to everyone by allowing them to avoid the frustration of wasting time with something that adds no value. You on the other hand are being needlessly confrontational just because someone has an opinion you don't like.
gonzo41 3y ago
You're taking that offense. He's not giving it. He's only giving his singular 1 in 8 billion opinion.
guntherhermann 3y ago
>How would you feel if, instead, I said "your gratitude practice is actually new age hippy trash"? I would say: "I don't care what you think. It works for me, if it doesn't for you then it doesn't."
scns 3y ago
Maybe because being grateful and acceptance/tolerance (in contrast to being judgemental) are to different things?
lelanthran 3y ago
> How would you feel if, instead, I said "your gratitude practice is actually new age hippy trash"? Directing the putdown "trash" to an idea and presenting it as a subjective opinion ("The rest of it felt like new-age hippy trash") is quite different to applying the putdown "trash" to a person and presenting it as a fact ("your gratitude practice is actually new age hippy trash"). "Felt like" means "It feels like this to me, your experience may be different" while "is actually" means "This is objective fact, regardless of how I feel about it". It's the difference between saying "that idea is idiotic" and saying "you are idiotic".

by igor47 3y ago

sooheon 3y ago

I guess gratitude != generosity

bheadmaster 3y ago

> Different people derive benefit from different things. Why not just leave it at, "the other stuff didn't work for me"? Different people have different opinions. Why not leave it at "I think the other stuff is not new age hippy trash"?

igor47 3y ago
Your correction wasn't my point. I would prefer to live in a kinder world. I explicitly appealed to the parent's likely desires for same. If you prefer to live in a world where people are casual dicks to one another, then I guess there's nothing to take away from my original comment.
- bheadmaster 3y ago
  And I would prefer to live in a world where people can say what they mean, without having to censor or sugarcoat their speech because someone else prefers not to hear their words. Different people have different preferences. Can't you just leave it at that? Why do you have to go around telling people not to say stuff you dislike in a public forum?
  - igor47 3y ago
    If you truly believe what you just wrote, why did you write it? Didn't you, in effect, dislike what I said and tell me not to say it? The whole point of forums is to productively disagree and hopefully learn something. It's not sugar coating to avoid being casually mean or dismissive -- it's advancing the very reason we're supposedly here.
    - Jensson 3y ago
      Original attacked a concept, you attacked an individual. Don't equate the two. The first person who starts to attack an individual will be told to stop, that is the only reasonable way to make people stop attacking individuals so we can argue freely.
      - raffraffraff 3y ago
        Oh snap. I just said a long-winded version of the same (didn't see because HN is gloriously old-fashioned)
      - bheadmaster 3y ago
        I couldn't have said it better. Thank you for the eloquent explanation.
    - raffraffraff 3y ago
      I don't normally get into this type of conversation, and I don't mean to pile-on either, but I think that the target of the dismissiveness is a distinction worth pointing out. The post that you originally replied to was dismissive about some mindfulness techniques. You made it more personal, accusing the poster of being dismissive. This is directed at a person. It's less abstract, and their more likely to cause offence or annoyance. My general rule is that I try to have thicker skin when it comes to assaults on ideas, and be careful not to offend persons.
- rewmie 3y ago
  > I would prefer to live in a kinder world. OP is being kind to everyone by allowing them to avoid the frustration of wasting time with something that adds no value. You on the other hand are being needlessly confrontational just because someone has an opinion you don't like.

gonzo41 3y ago

You're taking that offense. He's not giving it. He's only giving his singular 1 in 8 billion opinion.

guntherhermann 3y ago

>How would you feel if, instead, I said "your gratitude practice is actually new age hippy trash"? I would say: "I don't care what you think. It works for me, if it doesn't for you then it doesn't."

scns 3y ago

Maybe because being grateful and acceptance/tolerance (in contrast to being judgemental) are to different things?

lelanthran 3y ago

> How would you feel if, instead, I said "your gratitude practice is actually new age hippy trash"? Directing the putdown "trash" to an idea and presenting it as a subjective opinion ("The rest of it felt like new-age hippy trash") is quite different to applying the putdown "trash" to a person and presenting it as a fact ("your gratitude practice is actually new age hippy trash"). "Felt like" means "It feels like this to me, your experience may be different" while "is actually" means "This is objective fact, regardless of how I feel about it". It's the difference between saying "that idea is idiotic" and saying "you are idiotic".